OMG actual constructive criticism!!


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OMG actual constructive criticism!!

Posted By: Yossarian Date: 3/18/04 9:24 a.m.
In Response To: Check this out (Starship Security Officer)

: And however cliche' it may seem, the fate of the entire world depends on YOU.
: This is it. This is Ultimate Homicide.
Few things on this:
1) By all accounts here, the world is alread f*cked, super marine or no, what with all the nuclear war, how much left is there to save?
2) The word "Homicide" makes it seem like a crime. In a post-apocalyptic word, "homicide" seems out of place. Not the act, but the idea of it as a punishable crime. In addition, if we're the main character, do we want to be committing homicide? Criminals commit homicides, that's why they're criminals. Why not "Assassination" instead of "Homicide"? "Ultimate Assassinantion" rolls off the tongue a lot better.
Or name it after an element in the back story, for instance, "The Red Hill Assassinations". Why? Because the bad guys are communists (red) and their hideout is a hill or something. It's all in the name man, first impressions are everything, and the name is one of the first thing people are gonna catch.
3.) In general you seem to reference aspects of a lot of different games. Good games aren't created by mixing the best elements of the top of the line FPS' out there, they do it by mixing the best elements of the top of the line FPS' out there and adding some new twists. It seems as though you're pretty action oriented as your story seems kinda FPS generic, though reworkable. Don't throw together a story just to have a setting for gameplay, especially if you're trying to model it after existing games.
4.) You seem to get some of your terms mixed up: oppressors, communists, degenerates...there needs to be some depth to these people. The concept of the bad guy being bad because he is bad has no bearing anymore, you're going ot want ot explain what these communists' aims are and why they are doing what they're doing. Let's also see a history of them and how they organized and came about. Who's their leader or leaders? How did they rise to power?
Okay, on your guns:
Pistol: Sounds decent, but what is the calibre? If it holds 20 rounds you're really looking at more of a submachine gun that's designed to be used as an automatic. Weapons with clips that large that are more accurate on a single shot are typically rifles.
Shotgun: Again, what is the gauge of the rounds and what's in them? A pump-action shotgun can't emit three rounds at once automatically, unless you have some sort of strange gun with three-barrels, and that would look pretty gay, not to mention clumsy to hold and a pain to reload. Instead of messing with the gun, leave it a simple shotgun and play iwth the ammo, different shell sizes, shot type, slugs, etc.
Machine Gun: That's a pretty vague description, what is it's calibre, rate of fire, round capacity? Drum or clip?
Give your weapons some history, maybe the pistol was a common sidarm of a now defunct army, maybe the shotgun has special significance to the player's character, and maybe the machine gun was stolen fomr the cold, dead, hands of Ted Nugent. Who knows?
But Dude: If you're going to do this, make it a Marathon TC or scenario, that at least gives it the smallest scent of an inkling that it may actually one day happen after four years, several team overalls and dozens of major plot changes and unrecoverable hours of map tweaking. Saying you're going to develop this yourself is asinine, but if you can make me eat my liver, more power to you.
Yossarian

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Pre-2004 Posts

Replies:

Check this out Starship Security Officer 3/17/04 5:11 p.m.

Re: Check this out Siphonopho 3/17/04 5:47 p.m.

Re: Check this out Starship Security Officer 3/17/04 5:50 p.m.

Re: Check this out Siphonopho 3/17/04 5:51 p.m.

Re: Check this out Bob-B-Q 3/18/04 4:33 a.m.

Re: Check this out Steve Levinson 3/18/04 4:46 a.m.

Re: Check this out Jacke 3/18/04 9:08 a.m.

OMG actual constructive criticism!! Yossarian 3/18/04 9:24 a.m.

Re: OMG actual constructive criticism!! Adam Ashwell 3/18/04 1:10 p.m.

Re: OMG actual constructive criticism!! Starship Security Officer 3/18/04 6:33 p.m.

Re: OMG actual constructive criticism!! Steve Levinson 3/18/04 7:07 p.m.

Re: OMG actual constructive criticism!! Elliott 3/18/04 7:40 p.m.

Re: OMG actual constructive criticism!! D-M.A. 3/19/04 12:53 a.m.

Re: OMG actual constructive criticism!! Adam Ashwell 3/19/04 11:48 a.m.

Now your're talking! Steve Levinson 3/19/04 1:35 p.m.

Re: Now your're talking! Adam Ashwell 3/19/04 2:12 p.m.

Re: Now your're talking! D-M.A. 3/19/04 4:38 p.m.

Let's Rip It Up! Adam Ashwell 3/19/04 5:08 p.m.

Re: Now your're talking! Adam Ashwell 3/19/04 5:29 p.m.

Re: Now your're talking! Elliott 3/19/04 6:02 p.m.

Re: Now your're talking! Adam Ashwell 3/19/04 6:19 p.m.

Hold the happiness people. Yossarian 3/19/04 7:35 p.m.

Re: Hold the happiness people. D-M.A. 3/19/04 10:02 p.m.

Re: Hold the happiness people. Jacke 3/20/04 1:23 a.m.

Re: Hold the happiness people. Adam Ashwell 3/20/04 3:15 a.m.

Re: Hold the happiness people. the Battle Cat 3/20/04 8:11 a.m.

Re: Hold the happiness people. Adam Ashwell 3/20/04 9:24 a.m.

Re: Hold the happiness people. Andrew Nagy 3/20/04 2:52 p.m.

Re: Now your're talking! D-M.A. 3/19/04 10:14 p.m.

Re: Now your're talking! Andrew Nagy 3/20/04 12:28 p.m.

Re: Now your're talking! D-M.A. 3/20/04 1:21 p.m.

Re: Now your're talking! Kirk 3/20/04 1:49 p.m.

Re: Now your're talking! D-M.A. 3/21/04 1:24 a.m.

Re: Now your're talking! Andrew Nagy 3/20/04 3:01 p.m.

Re: Now your're talking! Adam Ashwell 3/20/04 4:16 p.m.

Re: Now your're talking! D-M.A. 3/21/04 12:48 a.m.

Re: Now your're talking! Adam Ashwell 3/21/04 2:10 a.m.

Re: Now your're talking! Kirk 3/21/04 8:14 a.m.

Re: Now your're talking! Yossarian 3/21/04 4:31 p.m.

Re: Now your're talking! Andrew Nagy 3/21/04 5:21 p.m.

Re: Now your're talking! D-M.A. 3/22/04 1:53 a.m.

Re: Now your're talking! Elliott 3/22/04 9:29 a.m.

Re: Now your're talking! Andrew Nagy 3/22/04 6:46 p.m.

Re: Now your're talking! Andrew Nagy 3/22/04 6:53 p.m.

Re: Now your're talking! D-M.A. 3/23/04 12:24 a.m.

Re: Now your're talking! Andrew Nagy 3/23/04 4:14 a.m.

Re: Now your're talking! D-M.A. 3/23/04 4:38 a.m.

Re: Now your're talking! Andrew Nagy 3/23/04 8:10 a.m.

Re: Now your're talking! D-M.A. 3/23/04 8:38 a.m.

Re: Now your're talking! Adam Ashwell 3/23/04 11:53 a.m.

Re: Now your're talking! Andrew Nagy 3/23/04 6:18 p.m.

Re: Now your're talking! Adam Ashwell 3/23/04 6:53 p.m.

Re: Now your're talking! goran 3/24/04 1:50 a.m.

Re: Now your're talking! D-M.A. 3/24/04 2:55 a.m.

Re: Now your're talking! Adam Ashwell 3/24/04 11:30 a.m.

Re: Now your're talking! Steve Levinson 3/24/04 11:52 a.m.

Re: Now your're talking! Andrew Nagy 3/24/04 12:39 p.m.

Argh...I said "I guess" twice. [no message] *NM* Andrew Nagy 3/24/04 12:40 p.m.

Re: Now your're talking! Adam Ashwell 3/24/04 12:46 p.m.

Re: Now your're talking! D-M.A. 3/24/04 12:56 p.m.

Re: Now your're talking! D-M.A. 3/24/04 12:57 p.m.

:ponders: Yossarian 3/19/04 1:46 p.m.

Re: :ponders: Jacke 3/19/04 4:06 p.m.

Sounds good to me deathmonger 3/19/04 6:20 p.m.

Re: Sounds good to me Adam Ashwell 3/19/04 6:37 p.m.

Re: Sounds good to me Kirk 3/20/04 11:16 a.m.

Now, ALL YOU PEOPLE LISTEN HERE!!! Starship Security Officer 3/19/04 8:13 p.m.

PARTY PEOPLE RAISE YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR Yossarian 3/19/04 8:29 p.m.

You guys are just trying to get me to give up. Starship Security Officer 3/20/04 4:37 a.m.

Re: You guys are just trying to get me to give up. Steve Levinson 3/20/04 5:44 a.m.

Re: You guys are just trying to get me to give up. Adam Ashwell 3/20/04 5:49 a.m.

Re: You guys are just trying to get me to give up. deathmonger 3/20/04 6:23 a.m.

Re: You guys are just trying to get me to give up. Adam Ashwell 3/20/04 6:24 a.m.

Re: You guys are just trying to get me to give up. Jacke 3/20/04 7:45 a.m.

Re: You guys are just trying to get me to give up. Adam Ashwell 3/20/04 9:45 a.m.

Re: You guys are just trying to get me to give up. D-M.A. 3/20/04 1:35 p.m.

Re: You guys are just trying to get me to give up. Ernie 3/20/04 3:02 p.m.

Re: You guys are just trying to get me to give up. Andrew Nagy 3/21/04 4:42 p.m.

Re: You guys are just trying to get me to give up. Little Kago 3/22/04 8:26 p.m.

Except Rubicon. *NM* Andrew Nagy 3/23/04 4:15 a.m.

Re: OMG actual constructive criticism!! deathmonger 3/18/04 7:47 p.m.

Re: OMG actual constructive criticism!! Yossarian 3/18/04 7:57 p.m.

[ Post a Reply | Message Index | Read Prev Msg | Read Next Msg ]
Pre-2004 Posts

Your Name:
Your E-Mail Address:
Subject:
Message:
: Few things on this: 1) By all accounts here, the world is alread f*cked, : super marine or no, what with all the nuclear war, how much left is there : to save? : 2) The word "Homicide" makes it seem like a crime. In a : post-apocalyptic word, "homicide" seems out of place. Not the : act, but the idea of it as a punishable crime. In addition, if we're the : main character, do we want to be committing homicide? Criminals commit : homicides, that's why they're criminals. Why not "Assassination" : instead of "Homicide"? "Ultimate Assassinantion" rolls : off the tongue a lot better. : Or name it after an element in the back story, for instance, "The Red : Hill Assassinations". Why? Because the bad guys are communists (red) : and their hideout is a hill or something. It's all in the name man, first : impressions are everything, and the name is one of the first thing people : are gonna catch. : 3.) In general you seem to reference aspects of a lot of different games. : Good games aren't created by mixing the best elements of the top of the : line FPS' out there, they do it by mixing the best elements of the top of : the line FPS' out there and adding some new twists. It seems as though : you're pretty action oriented as your story seems kinda FPS generic, : though reworkable. Don't throw together a story just to have a setting for : gameplay, especially if you're trying to model it after existing games. : 4.) You seem to get some of your terms mixed up: oppressors, communists, : degenerates...there needs to be some depth to these people. The concept of : the bad guy being bad because he is bad has no bearing anymore, you're : going ot want ot explain what these communists' aims are and why they are : doing what they're doing. Let's also see a history of them and how they : organized and came about. Who's their leader or leaders? How did they rise : to power? : Okay, on your guns: Pistol: Sounds decent, but what is the calibre? If it : holds 20 rounds you're really looking at more of a submachine gun that's : designed to be used as an automatic. Weapons with clips that large that : are more accurate on a single shot are typically rifles. : Shotgun: Again, what is the gauge of the rounds and what's in them? A : pump-action shotgun can't emit three rounds at once automatically, unless : you have some sort of strange gun with three-barrels, and that would look : pretty gay, not to mention clumsy to hold and a pain to reload. Instead of : messing with the gun, leave it a simple shotgun and play iwth the ammo, : different shell sizes, shot type, slugs, etc. : Machine Gun: That's a pretty vague description, what is it's calibre, rate of : fire, round capacity? Drum or clip? : Give your weapons some history, maybe the pistol was a common sidarm of a now : defunct army, maybe the shotgun has special significance to the player's : character, and maybe the machine gun was stolen fomr the cold, dead, hands : of Ted Nugent. Who knows? : But Dude: If you're going to do this, make it a Marathon TC or scenario, that : at least gives it the smallest scent of an inkling that it may actually : one day happen after four years, several team overalls and dozens of major : plot changes and unrecoverable hours of map tweaking. Saying you're going : to develop this yourself is asinine, but if you can make me eat my liver, : more power to you. : Yossarian

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Check this out	Starship Security Officer	3/17/04 5:11 p.m.
Re: Check this out	Siphonopho	3/17/04 5:47 p.m.
Re: Check this out	Starship Security Officer	3/17/04 5:50 p.m.
Re: Check this out	Siphonopho	3/17/04 5:51 p.m.
Re: Check this out	Bob-B-Q	3/18/04 4:33 a.m.
Re: Check this out	Steve Levinson	3/18/04 4:46 a.m.
Re: Check this out	Jacke	3/18/04 9:08 a.m.
OMG actual constructive criticism!!	Yossarian	3/18/04 9:24 a.m.
Re: OMG actual constructive criticism!!	Adam Ashwell	3/18/04 1:10 p.m.
Re: OMG actual constructive criticism!!	Starship Security Officer	3/18/04 6:33 p.m.
Re: OMG actual constructive criticism!!	Steve Levinson	3/18/04 7:07 p.m.
Re: OMG actual constructive criticism!!	Elliott	3/18/04 7:40 p.m.
Re: OMG actual constructive criticism!!	D-M.A.	3/19/04 12:53 a.m.
Re: OMG actual constructive criticism!!	Adam Ashwell	3/19/04 11:48 a.m.
Now your're talking!	Steve Levinson	3/19/04 1:35 p.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	Adam Ashwell	3/19/04 2:12 p.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	D-M.A.	3/19/04 4:38 p.m.
Let's Rip It Up!	Adam Ashwell	3/19/04 5:08 p.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	Adam Ashwell	3/19/04 5:29 p.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	Elliott	3/19/04 6:02 p.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	Adam Ashwell	3/19/04 6:19 p.m.
Hold the happiness people.	Yossarian	3/19/04 7:35 p.m.
Re: Hold the happiness people.	D-M.A.	3/19/04 10:02 p.m.
Re: Hold the happiness people.	Jacke	3/20/04 1:23 a.m.
Re: Hold the happiness people.	Adam Ashwell	3/20/04 3:15 a.m.
Re: Hold the happiness people.	the Battle Cat	3/20/04 8:11 a.m.
Re: Hold the happiness people.	Adam Ashwell	3/20/04 9:24 a.m.
Re: Hold the happiness people.	Andrew Nagy	3/20/04 2:52 p.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	D-M.A.	3/19/04 10:14 p.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	Andrew Nagy	3/20/04 12:28 p.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	D-M.A.	3/20/04 1:21 p.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	Kirk	3/20/04 1:49 p.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	D-M.A.	3/21/04 1:24 a.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	Andrew Nagy	3/20/04 3:01 p.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	Adam Ashwell	3/20/04 4:16 p.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	D-M.A.	3/21/04 12:48 a.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	Adam Ashwell	3/21/04 2:10 a.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	Kirk	3/21/04 8:14 a.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	Yossarian	3/21/04 4:31 p.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	Andrew Nagy	3/21/04 5:21 p.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	D-M.A.	3/22/04 1:53 a.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	Elliott	3/22/04 9:29 a.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	Andrew Nagy	3/22/04 6:46 p.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	Andrew Nagy	3/22/04 6:53 p.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	D-M.A.	3/23/04 12:24 a.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	Andrew Nagy	3/23/04 4:14 a.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	D-M.A.	3/23/04 4:38 a.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	Andrew Nagy	3/23/04 8:10 a.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	D-M.A.	3/23/04 8:38 a.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	Adam Ashwell	3/23/04 11:53 a.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	Andrew Nagy	3/23/04 6:18 p.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	Adam Ashwell	3/23/04 6:53 p.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	goran	3/24/04 1:50 a.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	D-M.A.	3/24/04 2:55 a.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	Adam Ashwell	3/24/04 11:30 a.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	Steve Levinson	3/24/04 11:52 a.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	Andrew Nagy	3/24/04 12:39 p.m.
Argh...I said "I guess" twice. [no message] NM	Andrew Nagy	3/24/04 12:40 p.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	Adam Ashwell	3/24/04 12:46 p.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	D-M.A.	3/24/04 12:56 p.m.
Re: Now your're talking!	D-M.A.	3/24/04 12:57 p.m.
:ponders:	Yossarian	3/19/04 1:46 p.m.
Re: :ponders:	Jacke	3/19/04 4:06 p.m.
Sounds good to me	deathmonger	3/19/04 6:20 p.m.
Re: Sounds good to me	Adam Ashwell	3/19/04 6:37 p.m.
Re: Sounds good to me	Kirk	3/20/04 11:16 a.m.
Now, ALL YOU PEOPLE LISTEN HERE!!!	Starship Security Officer	3/19/04 8:13 p.m.
PARTY PEOPLE RAISE YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR	Yossarian	3/19/04 8:29 p.m.
You guys are just trying to get me to give up.	Starship Security Officer	3/20/04 4:37 a.m.
Re: You guys are just trying to get me to give up.	Steve Levinson	3/20/04 5:44 a.m.
Re: You guys are just trying to get me to give up.	Adam Ashwell	3/20/04 5:49 a.m.
Re: You guys are just trying to get me to give up.	deathmonger	3/20/04 6:23 a.m.
Re: You guys are just trying to get me to give up.	Adam Ashwell	3/20/04 6:24 a.m.
Re: You guys are just trying to get me to give up.	Jacke	3/20/04 7:45 a.m.
Re: You guys are just trying to get me to give up.	Adam Ashwell	3/20/04 9:45 a.m.
Re: You guys are just trying to get me to give up.	D-M.A.	3/20/04 1:35 p.m.
Re: You guys are just trying to get me to give up.	Ernie	3/20/04 3:02 p.m.
Re: You guys are just trying to get me to give up.	Andrew Nagy	3/21/04 4:42 p.m.
Re: You guys are just trying to get me to give up.	Little Kago	3/22/04 8:26 p.m.
Except Rubicon. NM	Andrew Nagy	3/23/04 4:15 a.m.
Re: OMG actual constructive criticism!!	deathmonger	3/18/04 7:47 p.m.
Re: OMG actual constructive criticism!!	Yossarian	3/18/04 7:57 p.m.



	Your Name:
	Your E-Mail Address:
	Subject:
	Message: : Few things on this: 1) By all accounts here, the world is alread f*cked, : super marine or no, what with all the nuclear war, how much left is there : to save? : 2) The word "Homicide" makes it seem like a crime. In a : post-apocalyptic word, "homicide" seems out of place. Not the : act, but the idea of it as a punishable crime. In addition, if we're the : main character, do we want to be committing homicide? Criminals commit : homicides, that's why they're criminals. Why not "Assassination" : instead of "Homicide"? "Ultimate Assassinantion" rolls : off the tongue a lot better. : Or name it after an element in the back story, for instance, "The Red : Hill Assassinations". Why? Because the bad guys are communists (red) : and their hideout is a hill or something. It's all in the name man, first : impressions are everything, and the name is one of the first thing people : are gonna catch. : 3.) In general you seem to reference aspects of a lot of different games. : Good games aren't created by mixing the best elements of the top of the : line FPS' out there, they do it by mixing the best elements of the top of : the line FPS' out there and adding some new twists. It seems as though : you're pretty action oriented as your story seems kinda FPS generic, : though reworkable. Don't throw together a story just to have a setting for : gameplay, especially if you're trying to model it after existing games. : 4.) You seem to get some of your terms mixed up: oppressors, communists, : degenerates...there needs to be some depth to these people. The concept of : the bad guy being bad because he is bad has no bearing anymore, you're : going ot want ot explain what these communists' aims are and why they are : doing what they're doing. Let's also see a history of them and how they : organized and came about. Who's their leader or leaders? How did they rise : to power? : Okay, on your guns: Pistol: Sounds decent, but what is the calibre? If it : holds 20 rounds you're really looking at more of a submachine gun that's : designed to be used as an automatic. Weapons with clips that large that : are more accurate on a single shot are typically rifles. : Shotgun: Again, what is the gauge of the rounds and what's in them? A : pump-action shotgun can't emit three rounds at once automatically, unless : you have some sort of strange gun with three-barrels, and that would look : pretty gay, not to mention clumsy to hold and a pain to reload. Instead of : messing with the gun, leave it a simple shotgun and play iwth the ammo, : different shell sizes, shot type, slugs, etc. : Machine Gun: That's a pretty vague description, what is it's calibre, rate of : fire, round capacity? Drum or clip? : Give your weapons some history, maybe the pistol was a common sidarm of a now : defunct army, maybe the shotgun has special significance to the player's : character, and maybe the machine gun was stolen fomr the cold, dead, hands : of Ted Nugent. Who knows? : But Dude: If you're going to do this, make it a Marathon TC or scenario, that : at least gives it the smallest scent of an inkling that it may actually : one day happen after four years, several team overalls and dozens of major : plot changes and unrecoverable hours of map tweaking. Saying you're going : to develop this yourself is asinine, but if you can make me eat my liver, : more power to you. : Yossarian
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