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Re: Not bad.
Posted By: General Vagueness <General.Vagueness@gmail.com>Date: 12/9/10 7:38 p.m.

In Response To: Re: Not bad. (General Battuta)


: * Jun : "Incoming. Looks like a reaction unit."

I like his original line better

: * Jun : "Decapitate their leadership, and they always break. Except the
: suicidal ones. I hate them."

you said you played on the "kill but don't hate" line but I don't like this as it's in direct opposition unless this is meant to be read sarcastically

: * Jun : "Tell me something about this place."

pretty awkward

: If the player is spotted by the searchlight, the dropship door will open
: and several Elites, including a Field Marshall, will open fire from
: inside. As soon as one of them loses shields, the dropship pulls off.

: If the player is not spotted, the dropship's port door will open, and a
: Field Marshall will lean out as if sniffing at the air. After a while the
: dropship will move on.

I like it

: * Kat (COM): "It's a broad-spectrum ECM device. Do you see any kind of
: visual distortion?"

CAS, ECM, I think there was another one in there somewhere-- I realize TLAs are very military but if the players don't know what they mean you're not doing any better at not alienating them than the dialog you most hated

: * Jun : "Agreed. They're about to try for a breakout. Kat, what's that
: structure?"

same deal, I get most of it from the context but it would be nice to know exactly what a "breakout" in this case is

: * Jun : "So much for artillery or missiles. We'll have to get in under
: the shield if we want to smother this thing."

also quite likable

: -Mission specified, early on, as locating main Covenant LZ

eh, maybe say it's suspected and whatever it is they need to find out (because they can't very well stand for the Covenant hiding things from them on their own planet)

: -Głta fight made more interesting

only if you like the dialog better, and it's not bad, but not much and not exactly verbal gold

: -Encounter with Field Marshall added, hinting that the Zealots may be hunting Noble

I don't find that very likely, and I hope you're not setting up the field marshall as some kind of nemesis

: This is what I'd planned to do from the start. I just don't think I've
: followed through quite well enough.

now that you mention it I can see it, and I could say something it taking a mention to realize it's there, but I didn't see the Carter/Kat thing until the cave scene in LNoS either, so I guess it's no worse

You cannot fall off the floor.


Message Index



Replies:

Reach, Rewritten: NightfallGeneral Battuta 12/9/10 5:36 p.m.
     Re: Reach, Rewritten: NightfallHawaiian Pig 12/9/10 6:17 p.m.
     Not bad.BlueNinja 12/9/10 6:18 p.m.
           Re: Not bad.General Battuta 12/9/10 6:20 p.m.
                 Re: Not bad.BlueNinja 12/9/10 6:36 p.m.
                 Re: Not bad.Hawaiian Pig 12/9/10 6:39 p.m.
                       Re: Not bad.General Battuta 12/9/10 6:47 p.m.
                             Re: Not bad.General Vagueness 12/9/10 7:38 p.m.
                                   Re: Not bad.General Battuta 12/9/10 7:44 p.m.
                                         Re: Not bad.SonofMacPhisto 12/9/10 7:50 p.m.
                                         Re: Not bad.General Vagueness 12/10/10 1:29 a.m.
                                               Re: Not bad.General Battuta 12/10/10 8:01 a.m.
                                                     Re: Not bad.Wayward Spleen™ 12/10/10 8:59 a.m.
                                                           Re: Not bad.General Battuta 12/10/10 9:31 a.m.
                                                                 Re: Not bad.Wayward Spleen™ 12/10/10 9:50 a.m.
                                                                       Re: Not bad.General Battuta 12/10/10 9:55 a.m.
                                                                             Re: Not bad.Wayward Spleen™ 12/10/10 10:10 a.m.
                                                                                   A wizard did it. *NM*Beckx 12/10/10 10:14 a.m.
                                                     Re: Not bad.Kermit 12/10/10 10:23 a.m.
                                                           Re: Not bad.General Battuta 12/10/10 10:59 a.m.
                                                                 i fail so hard *NM*General Battuta 12/10/10 10:59 a.m.
                       Re: Not bad.BlueNinja 12/9/10 7:09 p.m.
                       Re: Not bad.Kermit 12/9/10 8:23 p.m.
                             Re: Not bad.Hawaiian Pig 12/9/10 9:34 p.m.
                                   Re: Not bad.7he grunt w/a plasma pistol 12/9/10 9:57 p.m.
                                   Re: Not bad.Kermit 12/9/10 10:46 p.m.
                                         Re: Not bad.Hawaiian Pig 12/9/10 11:02 p.m.
                                               Re: Not bad.Quirel 12/9/10 11:16 p.m.
                                                     Re: Not bad.Quirel 12/9/10 11:17 p.m.
                                                           Re: Not bad.Hawaiian Pig 12/9/10 11:55 p.m.
                                                                 Re: Not bad.General Battuta 12/10/10 12:01 a.m.
                                                                       Re: Not bad.Hawaiian Pig 12/10/10 12:35 a.m.
                                                                             Re: Not bad.General Vagueness 12/10/10 1:38 a.m.
                                                                                   Re: Not bad.General Battuta 12/10/10 8:02 a.m.
                                                                                         Re: Not bad.Hikaru-119 12/10/10 12:38 p.m.
                                                                                               Re: Not bad.General Battuta 12/10/10 12:55 p.m.
                                               Re: Not bad.Hawaiian Pig 12/10/10 1:04 a.m.
     aaaaaaaaaghGeneral Battuta 12/9/10 6:24 p.m.
     A much tighter rewrite *NM*SonGoharotto 12/9/10 7:07 p.m.
     Re: Reach, Rewritten: NightfallSonofMacPhisto 12/9/10 7:15 p.m.
           Re: Reach, Rewritten: NightfallGeneral Battuta 12/9/10 7:17 p.m.
                 Re: Reach, Rewritten: NightfallSonofMacPhisto 12/9/10 7:24 p.m.
                 Furthermore...SonofMacPhisto 12/9/10 7:43 p.m.
                       Re: Furthermore...Hawaiian Pig 12/9/10 9:38 p.m.
     Re: Reach, Rewritten: NightfallQuirel 12/9/10 10:26 p.m.
           Re: Reach, Rewritten: NightfallGeneral Battuta 12/9/10 10:27 p.m.
                 Yes and No7he grunt w/a plasma pistol 12/9/10 10:31 p.m.
                 Re: Reach, Rewritten: NightfallQuirel 12/9/10 11:10 p.m.
                       Re: Reach, Rewritten: NightfallGeneral Battuta 12/9/10 11:16 p.m.
                             Re: Reach, Rewritten: NightfallQuirel 12/10/10 12:23 a.m.
                                   Re: Reach, Rewritten: NightfallLouis Wu 12/10/10 7:35 a.m.
                                         Re: Reach, Rewritten: NightfallGeneral Battuta 12/10/10 8:03 a.m.
                 Alien bastards are gonna pay for busting my rideBeckx 12/10/10 7:40 a.m.
                 Re: Reach, Rewritten: NightfallHikaru-119 12/10/10 12:42 p.m.
                 Re: Reach, Rewritten: NightfallSonGoharotto 12/10/10 4:29 p.m.
                       Re: Reach, Rewritten: Nightfall7he grunt w/a plasma pistol 12/10/10 4:44 p.m.
                             Re: Reach, Rewritten: NightfallSonGoharotto 12/10/10 7:31 p.m.
     I really like these.SPARTAN-034 12/9/10 10:37 p.m.
     Re: Reach, Rewritten: NightfallArchilen 12/10/10 8:17 a.m.
     There is a a Recon AlphaHikaru-119 12/11/10 9:10 p.m.
           Re: There is a a Recon AlphaGeneral Battuta 12/11/10 10:06 p.m.
                 Re: There is a a Recon AlphaHikaru-119 12/11/10 10:18 p.m.
                       Re: There is a a Recon AlphaGeneral Battuta 12/11/10 10:55 p.m.
                             I did one better than write a quoteHikaru-119 12/11/10 11:06 p.m.
                                   Re: I did one better than write a quoteGeneral Battuta 12/11/10 11:11 p.m.
     Re: Reach, Rewritten: NightfallJo 12/11/10 10:47 p.m.
           Re: Reach, Rewritten: NightfallGeneral Battuta 12/11/10 10:54 p.m.
                 Re: Reach, Rewritten: NightfallJo 12/11/10 11:20 p.m.
                       Re: Reach, Rewritten: NightfallGeneral Battuta 12/11/10 11:28 p.m.
                             Re: Reach, Rewritten: NightfallJo 12/12/10 1:34 p.m.



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