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STFG, Part II
Posted By: Forrest of B.orgDate: 6/13/02 11:48 p.m.

In Response To: Re: Heh...oops... (REB)

I somehow clipped the top part of your message in my first response, so here's comments on them:

: Rule #1: unless you look like a movie star and have a seven numbers bank
: account, you don't sit around waiting for a lady to ask you out!

Though sometimes, depending on the type of girl, just sitting there looking pretty (or smart, or otherwise impressive somehow) and just glancing at them or saying the right few words to insinuate your interest can get them to make the first moves on you. All the girls I've known who've really liked me (whether I've gotten together with them, almost but not quite gotten due to odd mitigating circumstances like them having other boyfriends or living hours away, or am still trying to get), I got to know this way.

But still, you have to do SOMETHING, and that something is the fine and delicate art of flirting. (I know, I know, I said the F-word! Don't kill me!). One thing that geeks are usually really good at is focusing on what they're doing at the time, which means they usually don't appear to be interested in girls at all unless they're actively hitting on them, and unless you're as good and practiced at hitting on girls as you are at vidding Acme Station, that's not likely to be a very successful task. So the way I found to develop this fine art of flirting was to keep a "background process" running, whatever I was doing, to pay attention to when girls are around and make sure I pay them just enough attention to let them know I'm checking them out, but not so much as to seem like a drooling pervert. (contrary to what you might hear on TV, girls DO look being checked out. Just, not too much). If you do this idly for long enough, with just every passing girl who you're prolly never gonna run into again in your life, you'll get the intuition for it down and develop the confidance neccesary to do it with a girl you're actually interested in getting.

: That
: takes us to rule #2, the golden rule me and many other learned from
: experience: It's better to have an ugly girlfriend than to masturbate.

Eh, with an exception. You can't just outright lower your standards, you'll have to develop an ugly filter. Learn how to overlook unattractive features and pay specific attention to their attractive features. (and tell her about the good stuff! she'll really appreciate it, especially if she's got lots of bad stuff to distract from it. I knew this girl once who had a big funky crooked nose... but she had really beautiful dark-red hair, and whenever I complemented her on it she practically melted). You have to be able to see beauty in her somehow, cuz it's just not gonna work in the end if YOU think she's ugly. If all you want is a cheap screw, then be my guest and screw an ugly girl, at least it'll raise her confidance and help her find a better guy than you. :P

: So how do you get yourself a girlfriend? You can use the internet to meet
: people living near you. Just go to a more "social" BBS or IRC
: channel and post a message saying you want to meet people. The ladies
: won't contact you by the dozens at the beginning, but they'll come - and
: they'll be as lonely and desperate as you; sometimes even worse. But
: that's OK. I personally don't do this kinda stuff anymore, but it's a good
: way to start.

From my experiance the Internet is a great place to meet people who are just PERFECT for you... and live on the other side of the world. The closest to a local match I've ever found on the net was someone who lived two hours, two counties and a mountain range away from, and that was just random chance - she wasn't a regular in my online circles at all, she just logged on from someone else's computer who was logged on to a room I was in.

The best thing that ever happened to me, social-life-wise, was the decision to go out and learn how to hang out with normal people, or at least non-geek (or trans-geek) cliques like goths or hippies, people who actually socialize in the real world. Find some intellicent clique-crossers - geeks seem to overlap most with goths, I've noticed - and see if you can hang out with them and meet other people through them, and then use those other people to meet more people, and just keep hanging out with anybody you meet who's cool enough and politely never run into the others again.

: Alright, you finally stopped downloading porn and asked this girl to go out
: with you. Great - what the hell do you do now? First, don't belive that
: crap about being yourself. You can't be yourself! Why you have to do is
: pretend to be yourself. Don't feel bad about this: it's a game everybody
: plays. It takes practice, but after a few dates you'll be able to fill the
: shoes of a decent date (and score!)

Again, I take exception to this. You can't pretend to be someone you're NOT; but you can try to find some other, rarely-used qualities of yours that would fit in with the people you're with, and suppress any qualities of yourself that get really really annoying. Just at first. As time goes on, you'll have to let more and more of your "natural" form show, and see how much the girl will tolerate, and find a happy equilibrium between being completely yourself (and annoying the fsck out of her, probably), and being the perfect guy 24/7. And make sure, if it turns long-term, that she knows you do have these qualities that would be really annoying her, but that you are tempering them for the sake of the relationship. She'll appreciate the effort, and maybe be even more tolerant of letting you express your little 'quirks'. :-)

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Pre-2004 Posts

Replies:

Ok...what's up with that?Dorfie 6/11/02 4:59 p.m.
     Re: Ok...what's up with that?Mazilurik 6/11/02 5:41 p.m.
           Re: Ok...what's up with that?Vid Boi 6/12/02 4:38 a.m.
           Heh...oops...Dorfie 6/12/02 6:30 a.m.
                 Re: Heh...oops...Jacke 6/12/02 10:59 a.m.
                       Re: Heh...oops...Vid Boi 6/12/02 12:03 p.m.
                             Re: Heh...oops...Boomer 6/12/02 2:24 p.m.
                                   I smell idiot magnet:) *NM*Tru7h 6/12/02 2:43 p.m.
                                         U must have your nose to close to ur mom ;) *NM*Boomer 6/12/02 2:45 p.m.
                                         Or maybe...Vid Boi 6/12/02 3:04 p.m.
                                               Re: Or maybe...Boomer 6/12/02 3:11 p.m.
                                   I'm sorry about this post, it's late:Vid Boi 6/12/02 3:30 p.m.
                                         Oh you are still young grasshopper NTD-M.A. 6/12/02 3:43 p.m.
                                               Re: Oh you are still young grasshopper NTD-M.A. 6/12/02 3:45 p.m.
                                                     Re: Oh you are still young grasshopper NTForrest of B.org 6/14/02 10:33 p.m.
                                                           Re: Oh you are still young grasshopper NTD-M.A. 6/15/02 1:46 a.m.
                                   Re: Heh...oops...Mazilurik 6/12/02 3:50 p.m.
                                         Re: Heh...oops...REB 6/12/02 4:22 p.m.
                                               Re: Heh...oops...Boomer 6/12/02 5:39 p.m.
                                                     Re: Heh...oops...REB 6/12/02 9:03 p.m.
                                                           Heh.Djof 6/13/02 8:28 p.m.
                                                                 Re: Heh.REB 6/14/02 8:50 a.m.
                                                                       Re: Heh.Djof 6/15/02 8:00 p.m.
                                                                             Re: Heh.REB 6/16/02 8:05 a.m.
                                                           Re: Heh...oops...Yossarian 6/13/02 9:55 p.m.
                                                                 Re: Heh...oops...REB 6/14/02 8:52 a.m.
                                                                       Re: Heh...oops...Yossarian 6/14/02 11:14 a.m.
                                                                             Re: Heh...oops...Forrest of B.org 6/14/02 2:41 p.m.
                                                                                   Re: Heh...oops...Yossarian 6/14/02 4:21 p.m.
                                                           Sex Tips for GeeksForrest of B.org 6/13/02 11:24 p.m.
                                                                 Ummmmm ...Jester 6/13/02 11:45 p.m.
                                                                       Re: Ummmmm ...Forrest of B.org 6/14/02 2:21 p.m.
                                                                             Re: Ummmmm ...Jester 6/14/02 5:38 p.m.
                                                                 Re: Sex Tips for Geeks:: Beer Can :: 6/14/02 3:25 a.m.
                                                                       Re: Sex Tips for GeeksTru7h 6/14/02 5:54 p.m.
                                                                       Re: Sex Tips for GeeksForrest of B.org 6/14/02 10:26 p.m.
                                                                             Relationship woes of ErnieErnie 6/15/02 11:36 a.m.
                                                                                   Re: Relationship woes of ErnieYossarian 6/15/02 1:15 p.m.
                                                                                         Re: Relationship woes of Ernieernie 6/15/02 3:03 p.m.
                                                                                   Re: Relationship woes of ErnieYossarian 6/15/02 4:44 p.m.
                                                                                         Re: Relationship woes of ErnieYossarian 6/15/02 7:58 p.m.
                                                                                   Re: Relationship woes of ErnieForrest of B.org 6/15/02 6:21 p.m.
                                                                             Re: Sex Tips for GeeksREB 6/15/02 11:46 a.m.
                                                                                   Re: Sex Tips for GeeksForrest of B.org 6/15/02 6:30 p.m.
                                                                                         Re: Sex Tips for GeeksREB 6/16/02 8:48 a.m.
                                                                                   Re: Sex Tips for Geeks:: Beer Can :: 6/19/02 4:28 p.m.
                                                                             Re: Sex Tips for Geeks:: Beer Can :: 6/17/02 2:08 a.m.
                                                                             Re: Sex Tips for GeeksErnie 7/2/02 5:04 p.m.
                                                                                   Re: Sex Tips for GeeksJacke 7/3/02 6:27 a.m.
                                                                                         Whoops. Thanks for the correction. :) NMErnie 7/4/02 5:31 p.m.
                                                                 Re: Sex Tips for GeeksREB 6/14/02 9:06 a.m.
                                                                 The REAL Sex Tips for GeeksForrest of B.org 6/15/02 12:59 a.m.
                                                           STFG, Part IIForrest of B.org 6/13/02 11:48 p.m.
                                                           Re: Heh...oops...Vid Boi 6/14/02 7:18 a.m.
                                   Re: Heh...oops...Tru7h 6/12/02 6:59 p.m.
                 I have the best one.Djof 6/12/02 6:14 p.m.
                       ...Djof 6/12/02 6:16 p.m.
                             Re: ...Vid Boi 6/12/02 11:11 p.m.
                       Re: I have the best one.Dorfie 6/13/02 8:58 a.m.
                             Re: I have the best one.Boomer 6/13/02 10:04 a.m.
                       Re: I have the best one.Forrest of B.org 6/14/02 10:35 p.m.
     I think it's time /dev/null this thread *NM*Vid Boi 6/15/02 12:12 p.m.



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