Unsolicted advice (this time without anecdots)


	/-/S'pht-Translator-Active/-/

Unsolicted advice (this time without anecdots)

Posted By: goran Date: 9/30/05 4:39 p.m.
In Response To: Re: Collaborative Conversation (Forrest of B.org)

*whenever possible*, not just when you feel like it or when you've no other option, seek to understand anyone you disagree with, to the point that you no longer do, while at the time time never letting go of your own original understanding. Expand your understanding to encompass theirs and in doing so become greater than both they and your previous self.

For me, unsolicited advice is not about understanding someone you disagree with, which I agree is useful. This is about something else.
You might be intererrested in what I was trying to get across with my story ( I don't claim Im a good story writer lol). Here, the thought goes without a story:
Unsolicited Advice
When someone comes and gives me unsolicted advice he tries to set up the very false idea that he is only trying to help me. What he really is doing, is attempting to use my values as a way to leverage me into changing my reality to match his reality.
Lets do some thinking about this. He tries to force me to adapt my reality into his reality by disguising his attempt as "help".
He wants to imply that I am in need of help, so I'm more eager to transform my reality into his reality. (aka manipulation)
He decided for me that I want to change my reality. He decided its a good thing to manipulate me because I may not know my own best. (what an arrogant thought)
The thing is: I'm happy with my reality, and I need others approval, unsolicited advice, and manipulation like I need a testicular cancer.
Therefore I call ppl on their manipulative behaivor of giving me unsolicited advice.

And I'm sorry that it hurts to be find out when you try to manipulate someone.

I don't count that ppl, nor you fobo, are going to agree with me on this. I respect your opinions. I wrote this as a chance for you guys to understand where I am coming from when I say no to your unsolicited advice.
-goran

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Pre-2004 Posts

Replies:

Mapping community goran 9/27/05 11:52 a.m.

Re: Mapping community Blake37 9/27/05 12:11 p.m.

Re: Mapping community Nick Hoad 9/27/05 1:30 p.m.

Re: Mapping community Me_43 9/27/05 8:23 p.m.

Re: Mapping community goran 9/28/05 12:38 a.m.

Re: Mapping community RyokoTK 9/28/05 3:25 a.m.

Re: Mapping community goran 9/28/05 5:23 a.m.

Re: Mapping community Forrest of B.org 9/28/05 8:18 a.m.

Re: Mapping community Nick Hoad 9/28/05 12:52 p.m.

Re: Mapping community RyokoTK 9/28/05 5:23 p.m.

Re: Mapping community ellio7t 9/30/05 9:15 a.m.

****To mapping community**** me_43 9/28/05 11:45 p.m.

Just be quiet, me_43. Seriously. *NM* RyokoTK 9/29/05 3:39 a.m.

Re: Just be quiet, me_43. Seriously. Simon/team Sigma 9/29/05 3:50 a.m.

Re: ****To mapping community**** goran 9/29/05 4:02 a.m.

Can't we all just get along? *NM* Bob-B-Q 9/29/05 4:47 a.m.

Re: Can't we all just get along? Simon/team Sigma 9/29/05 5:11 a.m.

Consider the circumstances. RyokoTK 9/29/05 12:38 p.m.

Re: Consider the circumstances. me_43 10/4/05 3:19 a.m.

I'm with Bob-B-Q on this Reiginko 9/29/05 5:33 a.m.

Re: I'm with Bob-B-Q on this me_43 9/29/05 6:38 a.m.

To all of you... Forrest of B.org 9/29/05 7:47 a.m.

Re: To all of you... kyjel 9/29/05 9:11 a.m.

Re: To all of you... Jacke 9/29/05 9:51 a.m.

Re: To all of you... Forrest of B.org 9/29/05 8:06 p.m.

Re: To all of you... goran 9/29/05 10:00 p.m.

Sleep is irrelevent to the Fobot Tyler 9/30/05 1:35 p.m.

Re: Sleep is irrelevent to the Fobot Forrest of B.org 9/30/05 1:52 p.m.

Re: Sleep is irrelevent to the Fobot Forrest of B.org 9/30/05 1:53 p.m.

Re: Sleep is irrelevent to the Fobot Tyler 9/30/05 2:57 p.m.

Re: Sleep is irrelevent to the Fobot Forrest of B.org 9/30/05 10:11 p.m.

Re: Sleep is irrelevent to the Fobot Speaker-To-Animals 10/1/05 7:31 a.m.

Re: Sleep is irrelevent to the Fobot Blake37 10/1/05 9:35 a.m.

Re: Sleep is irrelevent to the Fobot Forrest of B.org 10/3/05 2:13 p.m.

stop goran 9/29/05 10:44 a.m.

I wouldn't see it as "preaching" MrHen 9/29/05 11:41 a.m.

Re: stop Forrest of B.org 9/29/05 2:40 p.m.

Re: stop Forrest of B.org 9/29/05 8:01 p.m.

Re: stop Bob-B-Q 9/29/05 3:24 p.m.

Re: stop RyokoTK 9/29/05 3:29 p.m.

Re: stop Forrest of B.org 9/29/05 7:49 p.m.

Re: stop goran 9/29/05 9:54 p.m.

Re: stop Forrest of B.org 9/29/05 10:24 p.m.

Re: stop goran 9/30/05 3:10 a.m.

Re: stop RyokoTK 9/30/05 4:07 a.m.

Re: stop goran 9/30/05 3:18 a.m.

FROG BLAST THE VENT CORE!!!!!!! *NM* ukimalefu 9/30/05 4:58 a.m.

Re: stop Forrest of B.org 9/30/05 6:25 a.m.

Steve's house goran 9/30/05 9:10 a.m.

Collaborative Conversation Forrest of B.org 9/30/05 12:37 p.m.

Re: Collaborative Conversation Forrest of B.org 9/30/05 1:32 p.m.

Unsolicted advice (this time without anecdots) goran 9/30/05 4:39 p.m.

Re: Collaborative Conversation goran 9/30/05 5:10 p.m.

Re: Collaborative Conversation D-M.A. 9/30/05 9:12 p.m.

Re: Collaborative Conversation Forrest of B.org 9/30/05 10:24 p.m.

Re: Collaborative Conversation goran 10/1/05 1:56 a.m.

Re: Collaborative Conversation goran 10/1/05 12:52 a.m.

Re: Collaborative Conversation D-M.A. 10/1/05 1:39 a.m.

Re: Collaborative Conversation D-M.A. 10/1/05 1:50 a.m.

Re: Collaborative Conversation goran 10/1/05 2:46 a.m.

Re: Collaborative Conversation goran 10/1/05 2:29 a.m.

Another note to self... Forrest of B.org 10/3/05 12:10 p.m.

Subjective vs Objective, Relative vs Absolute Forrest of B.org 10/3/05 1:12 p.m.

Applause! *NM* Blake37 10/3/05 1:42 p.m.

addition: beliefs and maps goran 10/3/05 3:22 p.m.

Re: addition: beliefs and maps D-M.A. 10/3/05 7:04 p.m.

Re: addition: beliefs and maps Forrest of B.org 10/3/05 7:07 p.m.

Re: addition: beliefs and maps goran 10/4/05 12:32 a.m.

MSF Story Hour Jacke 9/30/05 1:38 p.m.

Re: To all of you... me_43 10/1/05 2:37 a.m.

Re: To all of you... RyokoTK 10/1/05 4:00 a.m.

Re: To all of you... me_43 10/1/05 7:27 a.m.

Re: To all of you... Simon/team Sigma 10/1/05 12:17 p.m.

Re: To all of you... Steve Levinson 10/1/05 7:07 p.m.

Re: To all of you... C Lund 10/1/05 11:16 p.m.

Re: An objective opinion? Maybe. Blayne 9/29/05 7:40 a.m.

Re: ****To mapping community**** Adam Ashwell 9/29/05 12:08 p.m.

To me_43, G�ran and anyone else who'll listen Steve Levinson 9/30/05 9:08 p.m.

Re: To me_43, G�ran and anyone else who'll listen D-M.A. 9/30/05 9:22 p.m.

Re: To me_43, G�ran and anyone else who'll listen Forrest of B.org 9/30/05 10:35 p.m.

Re: To me_43, G�ran and anyone else who'll listen goran 10/1/05 12:28 a.m.

Re: To me_43, G�ran and anyone else who'll listen me_43 10/1/05 2:45 a.m.

Re: Mapping community D-M.A. 9/29/05 10:42 a.m.

Re: Mapping community me_43 10/5/05 10:01 p.m.

Can't see shit. *omg downloads* Me_43 10/5/05 11:27 p.m.

Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died Reiginko 10/6/05 2:08 a.m.

Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died Forrest of B.org 10/6/05 6:51 a.m.

Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died goran 10/6/05 9:51 a.m.

Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died Forrest of B.org 10/6/05 2:16 p.m.

Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died me_43 10/7/05 2:06 a.m.

Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died goran 10/7/05 2:54 a.m.

Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died Nick Hoad 10/7/05 10:44 a.m.

Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died goran 10/7/05 11:14 a.m.

Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died Nick Hoad 10/7/05 1:54 p.m.

Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died me_43 10/8/05 12:54 a.m.

Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died me_43 10/8/05 12:55 a.m.

Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died goran 10/8/05 1:34 a.m.

Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died RyokoTK 10/7/05 3:12 a.m.

Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died me_43 10/8/05 12:55 a.m.

Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died RyokoTK 10/8/05 3:16 a.m.

Do you really think you can make better maps? RyokoTK 10/6/05 3:34 a.m.

Re: Do you really think you can make better maps? Simon/team Sigma 10/6/05 3:55 a.m.

Re: Mapping community goran 10/6/05 4:14 a.m.

[end thread] me_43 10/6/05 5:06 a.m.

Re: [end thread] D-M.A. 10/6/05 7:55 a.m.

Re: [end thread] Dave 10/7/05 9:08 p.m.

Re: [end thread] goran 10/8/05 1:32 a.m.

Re: [end thread] goran 10/8/05 2:06 a.m.

Re: [end thread] RyokoTK 10/8/05 3:16 a.m.

Re: Mapping community goran 10/6/05 4:53 a.m.

Re: Mapping community goran 10/6/05 11:55 a.m.

[ Post a Reply | Message Index | Read Prev Msg | Read Next Msg ]
Pre-2004 Posts

Your Name:
Your E-Mail Address:
Subject:
Message:
: *whenever possible*, not just when you feel like it or when you've no other : option, seek to understand anyone you disagree with, to the point that you : no longer do, while at the time time never letting go of your own original : understanding. Expand your understanding to encompass theirs and in doing : so become greater than both they and your previous self. : : For me, unsolicited advice is not about understanding someone you disagree : with, which I agree is useful. This is about something else. : You might be intererrested in what I was trying to get across with my story ( : I don't claim Im a good story writer lol). Here, the thought goes without : a story: Unsolicited Advice : When someone comes and gives me unsolicted advice he tries to set up the very : false idea that he is only trying to help me. What he really is doing, is : attempting to use my values as a way to leverage me into changing my : reality to match his reality. : Lets do some thinking about this. He tries to force me to adapt my reality : into his reality by disguising his attempt as "help". : He wants to imply that I am in need of help, so I'm more eager to transform : my reality into his reality. (aka manipulation) : He decided for me that I want to change my reality. He decided its a good : thing to manipulate me because I may not know my own best. (what an : arrogant thought) : The thing is: I'm happy with my reality, and I need others approval, : unsolicited advice, and manipulation like I need a testicular cancer. : Therefore I call ppl on their manipulative behaivor of giving me unsolicited : advice. : : And I'm sorry that it hurts to be find out when you try to manipulate : someone. : : I don't count that ppl, nor you fobo, are going to agree with me on this. I : respect your opinions. I wrote this as a chance for you guys to understand : where I am coming from when I say no to your unsolicited advice. : -goran :

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Mapping community	goran	9/27/05 11:52 a.m.
Re: Mapping community	Blake37	9/27/05 12:11 p.m.
Re: Mapping community	Nick Hoad	9/27/05 1:30 p.m.
Re: Mapping community	Me_43	9/27/05 8:23 p.m.
Re: Mapping community	goran	9/28/05 12:38 a.m.
Re: Mapping community	RyokoTK	9/28/05 3:25 a.m.
Re: Mapping community	goran	9/28/05 5:23 a.m.
Re: Mapping community	Forrest of B.org	9/28/05 8:18 a.m.
Re: Mapping community	Nick Hoad	9/28/05 12:52 p.m.
Re: Mapping community	RyokoTK	9/28/05 5:23 p.m.
Re: Mapping community	ellio7t	9/30/05 9:15 a.m.
**To mapping community**	me_43	9/28/05 11:45 p.m.
Just be quiet, me_43. Seriously. NM	RyokoTK	9/29/05 3:39 a.m.
Re: Just be quiet, me_43. Seriously.	Simon/team Sigma	9/29/05 3:50 a.m.
Re: **To mapping community**	goran	9/29/05 4:02 a.m.
Can't we all just get along? NM	Bob-B-Q	9/29/05 4:47 a.m.
Re: Can't we all just get along?	Simon/team Sigma	9/29/05 5:11 a.m.
Consider the circumstances.	RyokoTK	9/29/05 12:38 p.m.
Re: Consider the circumstances.	me_43	10/4/05 3:19 a.m.
I'm with Bob-B-Q on this	Reiginko	9/29/05 5:33 a.m.
Re: I'm with Bob-B-Q on this	me_43	9/29/05 6:38 a.m.
To all of you...	Forrest of B.org	9/29/05 7:47 a.m.
Re: To all of you...	kyjel	9/29/05 9:11 a.m.
Re: To all of you...	Jacke	9/29/05 9:51 a.m.
Re: To all of you...	Forrest of B.org	9/29/05 8:06 p.m.
Re: To all of you...	goran	9/29/05 10:00 p.m.
Sleep is irrelevent to the Fobot	Tyler	9/30/05 1:35 p.m.
Re: Sleep is irrelevent to the Fobot	Forrest of B.org	9/30/05 1:52 p.m.
Re: Sleep is irrelevent to the Fobot	Forrest of B.org	9/30/05 1:53 p.m.
Re: Sleep is irrelevent to the Fobot	Tyler	9/30/05 2:57 p.m.
Re: Sleep is irrelevent to the Fobot	Forrest of B.org	9/30/05 10:11 p.m.
Re: Sleep is irrelevent to the Fobot	Speaker-To-Animals	10/1/05 7:31 a.m.
Re: Sleep is irrelevent to the Fobot	Blake37	10/1/05 9:35 a.m.
Re: Sleep is irrelevent to the Fobot	Forrest of B.org	10/3/05 2:13 p.m.
stop	goran	9/29/05 10:44 a.m.
I wouldn't see it as "preaching"	MrHen	9/29/05 11:41 a.m.
Re: stop	Forrest of B.org	9/29/05 2:40 p.m.
Re: stop	Forrest of B.org	9/29/05 8:01 p.m.
Re: stop	Bob-B-Q	9/29/05 3:24 p.m.
Re: stop	RyokoTK	9/29/05 3:29 p.m.
Re: stop	Forrest of B.org	9/29/05 7:49 p.m.
Re: stop	goran	9/29/05 9:54 p.m.
Re: stop	Forrest of B.org	9/29/05 10:24 p.m.
Re: stop	goran	9/30/05 3:10 a.m.
Re: stop	RyokoTK	9/30/05 4:07 a.m.
Re: stop	goran	9/30/05 3:18 a.m.
FROG BLAST THE VENT CORE!!!!!!! NM	ukimalefu	9/30/05 4:58 a.m.
Re: stop	Forrest of B.org	9/30/05 6:25 a.m.
Steve's house	goran	9/30/05 9:10 a.m.
Collaborative Conversation	Forrest of B.org	9/30/05 12:37 p.m.
Re: Collaborative Conversation	Forrest of B.org	9/30/05 1:32 p.m.
Unsolicted advice (this time without anecdots)	goran	9/30/05 4:39 p.m.
Re: Collaborative Conversation	goran	9/30/05 5:10 p.m.
Re: Collaborative Conversation	D-M.A.	9/30/05 9:12 p.m.
Re: Collaborative Conversation	Forrest of B.org	9/30/05 10:24 p.m.
Re: Collaborative Conversation	goran	10/1/05 1:56 a.m.
Re: Collaborative Conversation	goran	10/1/05 12:52 a.m.
Re: Collaborative Conversation	D-M.A.	10/1/05 1:39 a.m.
Re: Collaborative Conversation	D-M.A.	10/1/05 1:50 a.m.
Re: Collaborative Conversation	goran	10/1/05 2:46 a.m.
Re: Collaborative Conversation	goran	10/1/05 2:29 a.m.
Another note to self...	Forrest of B.org	10/3/05 12:10 p.m.
Subjective vs Objective, Relative vs Absolute	Forrest of B.org	10/3/05 1:12 p.m.
Applause! NM	Blake37	10/3/05 1:42 p.m.
addition: beliefs and maps	goran	10/3/05 3:22 p.m.
Re: addition: beliefs and maps	D-M.A.	10/3/05 7:04 p.m.
Re: addition: beliefs and maps	Forrest of B.org	10/3/05 7:07 p.m.
Re: addition: beliefs and maps	goran	10/4/05 12:32 a.m.
MSF Story Hour	Jacke	9/30/05 1:38 p.m.
Re: To all of you...	me_43	10/1/05 2:37 a.m.
Re: To all of you...	RyokoTK	10/1/05 4:00 a.m.
Re: To all of you...	me_43	10/1/05 7:27 a.m.
Re: To all of you...	Simon/team Sigma	10/1/05 12:17 p.m.
Re: To all of you...	Steve Levinson	10/1/05 7:07 p.m.
Re: To all of you...	C Lund	10/1/05 11:16 p.m.
Re: An objective opinion? Maybe.	Blayne	9/29/05 7:40 a.m.
Re: **To mapping community**	Adam Ashwell	9/29/05 12:08 p.m.
To me_43, G�ran and anyone else who'll listen	Steve Levinson	9/30/05 9:08 p.m.
Re: To me_43, G�ran and anyone else who'll listen	D-M.A.	9/30/05 9:22 p.m.
Re: To me_43, G�ran and anyone else who'll listen	Forrest of B.org	9/30/05 10:35 p.m.
Re: To me_43, G�ran and anyone else who'll listen	goran	10/1/05 12:28 a.m.
Re: To me_43, G�ran and anyone else who'll listen	me_43	10/1/05 2:45 a.m.
Re: Mapping community	D-M.A.	9/29/05 10:42 a.m.
Re: Mapping community	me_43	10/5/05 10:01 p.m.
Can't see shit. omg downloads	Me_43	10/5/05 11:27 p.m.
Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died	Reiginko	10/6/05 2:08 a.m.
Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died	Forrest of B.org	10/6/05 6:51 a.m.
Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died	goran	10/6/05 9:51 a.m.
Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died	Forrest of B.org	10/6/05 2:16 p.m.
Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died	me_43	10/7/05 2:06 a.m.
Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died	goran	10/7/05 2:54 a.m.
Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died	Nick Hoad	10/7/05 10:44 a.m.
Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died	goran	10/7/05 11:14 a.m.
Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died	Nick Hoad	10/7/05 1:54 p.m.
Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died	me_43	10/8/05 12:54 a.m.
Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died	me_43	10/8/05 12:55 a.m.
Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died	goran	10/8/05 1:34 a.m.
Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died	RyokoTK	10/7/05 3:12 a.m.
Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died	me_43	10/8/05 12:55 a.m.
Re: Oh, man, and I thought this thread had died	RyokoTK	10/8/05 3:16 a.m.
Do you really think you can make better maps?	RyokoTK	10/6/05 3:34 a.m.
Re: Do you really think you can make better maps?	Simon/team Sigma	10/6/05 3:55 a.m.
Re: Mapping community	goran	10/6/05 4:14 a.m.
[end thread]	me_43	10/6/05 5:06 a.m.
Re: [end thread]	D-M.A.	10/6/05 7:55 a.m.
Re: [end thread]	Dave	10/7/05 9:08 p.m.
Re: [end thread]	goran	10/8/05 1:32 a.m.
Re: [end thread]	goran	10/8/05 2:06 a.m.
Re: [end thread]	RyokoTK	10/8/05 3:16 a.m.
Re: Mapping community	goran	10/6/05 4:53 a.m.
Re: Mapping community	goran	10/6/05 11:55 a.m.



	Your Name:
	Your E-Mail Address:
	Subject:
	Message: : whenever possible, not just when you feel like it or when you've no other : option, seek to understand anyone you disagree with, to the point that you : no longer do, while at the time time never letting go of your own original : understanding. Expand your understanding to encompass theirs and in doing : so become greater than both they and your previous self. : : For me, unsolicited advice is not about understanding someone you disagree : with, which I agree is useful. This is about something else. : You might be intererrested in what I was trying to get across with my story ( : I don't claim Im a good story writer lol). Here, the thought goes without : a story: Unsolicited Advice : When someone comes and gives me unsolicted advice he tries to set up the very : false idea that he is only trying to help me. What he really is doing, is : attempting to use my values as a way to leverage me into changing my : reality to match his reality. : Lets do some thinking about this. He tries to force me to adapt my reality : into his reality by disguising his attempt as "help". : He wants to imply that I am in need of help, so I'm more eager to transform : my reality into his reality. (aka manipulation) : He decided for me that I want to change my reality. He decided its a good : thing to manipulate me because I may not know my own best. (what an : arrogant thought) : The thing is: I'm happy with my reality, and I need others approval, : unsolicited advice, and manipulation like I need a testicular cancer. : Therefore I call ppl on their manipulative behaivor of giving me unsolicited : advice. : : And I'm sorry that it hurts to be find out when you try to manipulate : someone. : : I don't count that ppl, nor you fobo, are going to agree with me on this. I : respect your opinions. I wrote this as a chance for you guys to understand : where I am coming from when I say no to your unsolicited advice. : -goran :
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