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I am an aspiring author...
Posted By: Quirel <>Date: 1/31/11 12:30 a.m.

In Response To: Summa Canonica (Cody Miller)

...and this abuse of a word generator and a thesaurus has me in tears.

"This continuous cycle of research and examination is assisted and advanced by a set of common standards that are pertinent to the objects being studied and establish a homogeneous environment preventing confusion and advocating collaboration."

Could easily read

"This cycle of research and examination is aided by a set of common standards relevant to the subject. The goal is to establish a Canon free of continuity snarls, preventing confusion and encouraging collaboration."

If he's supposed to be writing EULAs or other documents intended to sound high and mighty, but impede understanding so the end user doesn't realize how screwed he is, this guy is spot on.

And for the record...
"the manifold nature of Halo's multifarious expressions and narrations"
is redundant.

"The current atmosphere, occasioned by frequent unjustifiable castigations of the True Halo Canon to which recent asinine publications of 343 Industries; juvenile but facetious and variegated illustrations of alleged Halo canon whose florid and incongruous absurdity is, indeed, quite of Legend, subversive and imperious recompositions in place of previously written textual canon, or otherwise; are attributed, does provide the cause, purpose, and desire for me to publish this declaration of remedy and guiding direction back towards the proper course of things, a course of things that does no disrespect to the True Halo Canon, much unlike the customary modus operandi of 343 Industries."

That is one sentence. ONE. Did his fourth-grade teacher not warn him of the evils of run-on sentences? I could sum up in 3 sentences what he took a quasi-paragraph to explain.

"The Haloverse is currently managed by (The EVUL KITTENMUNCHING) 343i. The only thing "of Legend" about the childish crap they put out is how bad it is. My method will restore sanity to the Halo Canon because it respects Halo Canon, and isn't whoring it out for cash."

"The greatest extent to which one would consider a member, by their interpretation, of Halo Canon would be those objects bearing the name of the Halo franchise; i.e., which overtly associate themselves with the Halo story in some way, shape, or form by means of marketing, labeling, or designation as such in a commercial, public, and published manner."
And we will search every residence, warehouse, henhouse, outhouse, doghouse, dog kennel, farmhouse, cow farm, pig farm, potato farm, wheat farm, shrimp farm, shrimp cocktail, shrimp salad...

I haven't had this much fun since I read Jimmy Carter's autobiography!

"It is certainly plausible that one may include other members, but that is outside the bounds of reasonability and is hardly ever an object of debate, so I will ignore this possibility."

Don't worry, man. I think you got your bases covered.
And 'reasonability', the way you used it, is probably a Bushism.

"This is a trap that many of my past interlocutors with whom I have disagreed have fallen into since Halo is indeed a marvelous story that they, naturally, enjoy to parallel with their own lives."

If you spent more than five minutes rooting through the thesaurus to find that one, it probably isn't worth it.

"To recapitulate, our canon policy finds that inclusiveness which is the True Halo Canon.

But current beliefs are most heterogeneous among the community, and flawed self-policies do permit the ruining of our great and established Canon by new and unholy artifacts."

OK, this is where I had to flip a coin over whether to continue. I'm really expecting you to start saying "The One True Halo Canon, Holiest of Holies." I mean, if it doesn't get you taken seriously, best not to include it.

Oh, and slightly less disturbing is that True Halo Canon is abbreviated as "THC". Which kinda makes sense now.

Just got to say, this is where I bail out.
I like the idea of "All apparent contradictions are just the flaws in the media itself. A comic is going to look different from a video game", but the problems of Halo canon are bigger than that, and no level of purple prose is going to hide that, or the fact that he grossly misapplied the logic of (A=A).

Having read further on (Skimmed most of it) to where he asserts that Halo 3 is supposed to be the true end of the Halo universe, and that Bungie was forced to make allowances for further games by legal action, I submit the following as proof that this is merely a bad parody.

"The virulent psychology of conformity is guilty, in a large part, for the cultivation of this perverted thought. I do understand the causes for such conformist mentality in common social environments, criticism from peers being one compelling force. I am baffled: for none with us exists! Rejoice freedom from lands where a totalitarian state imposes onto our minds these set beliefs and threatens us for nonconformity. This is the type of system 343 Industries establishes with their mind-controlling, self-admitted stature of authority over our canon, yet hordes still feel obligated to service this perverted canon; are they subject to mind control tricks to which I have innate immunity?"

Message Index


Summa CanonicaCody Miller 1/30/11 8:22 p.m.
     Re: Summa CanonicaHyokin 1/30/11 8:26 p.m.
     Re: Summa CanonicaPkmnrulz240 1/30/11 8:26 p.m.
           Also...Pkmnrulz240 1/30/11 8:29 p.m.
                 Re: Also...Cody Miller 1/30/11 8:50 p.m.
                       Re: Also...Stephen L. (SoundEffect) 1/30/11 9:41 p.m.
                             Re: Also...sithhead 1/30/11 11:04 p.m.
                 Re: Also...SonofMacPhisto 1/30/11 9:41 p.m.
                       Re: Also...Pkmnrulz240 1/30/11 9:42 p.m.
                             Re: Also...SonofMacPhisto 1/30/11 9:48 p.m.
     amazing *NM*kidtsunami 1/30/11 8:46 p.m.
     WtfAvateur 1/30/11 8:57 p.m.
           Actually...NartFOpc 1/30/11 10:46 p.m.
                 Re: Actually...Buttskunk 1/30/11 11:05 p.m.
     Utterly GloriousHawaiian Pig 1/30/11 10:47 p.m.
     I don't understand people sometimes.uberfoop 1/30/11 11:21 p.m.
           Ahhhhh.... my brain!!!! *NM*Chris101b 1/30/11 11:35 p.m.
           Re: I don't understand people sometimes.Hawaiian Pig 1/31/11 12:41 a.m.
     Paul Marv, eh?Salazar14 1/31/11 12:04 a.m.
     I am an aspiring author...Quirel 1/31/11 12:30 a.m.
           The Turn of the Screwloosetopleybird 1/31/11 10:22 a.m.
     Re: Summa CanonicaNarcogen 1/31/11 2:20 a.m.
           Re: Summa CanonicaCody Miller 1/31/11 11:54 a.m.
                 Re: Summa CanonicaNarcogen 2/1/11 12:18 a.m.
                       Re: Summa CanonicaCody Miller 2/1/11 1:49 a.m.
                             Re: Summa CanonicaThe Loot 2/1/11 3:41 a.m.
                             Re: Summa CanonicaNarcogen 2/1/11 10:00 p.m.
     Okay, wow.BlueNinja 1/31/11 3:03 a.m.
     Re: Summa CanonicaLouis Wu 1/31/11 3:46 a.m.
           Re: Summa CanonicaQuirel 1/31/11 10:44 a.m.
           Re: Summa CanonicaHawaiian Pig 1/31/11 3:46 p.m.
                 Re: Summa CanonicaLouis Wu 1/31/11 3:50 p.m.
                       Re: Summa CanonicaHawaiian Pig 1/31/11 5:28 p.m.
                             Re: Summa CanonicaQuirel 1/31/11 5:44 p.m.
     Re: Summa CanonicaMorhek 1/31/11 5:10 a.m.
     HahaArchilen 1/31/11 8:41 a.m.
     Re: Summa CanonicaFrankie 1/31/11 12:04 p.m.
           Re: Summa CanonicaAvateur 1/31/11 12:23 p.m.
                 Re: Summa CanonicaFrankie 1/31/11 12:24 p.m.
                       Re: Summa CanonicaCody Miller 1/31/11 12:36 p.m.
                             Re: Summa CanonicaFrankie 1/31/11 12:51 p.m.
                                   Re: Summa CanonicaStephen L. (SoundEffect) 1/31/11 1:24 p.m.
                                         Re: Summa CanonicaBry 1/31/11 1:45 p.m.
                                               Re: Summa CanonicaStephen L. (SoundEffect) 1/31/11 1:47 p.m.
                                         Re: Summa CanonicaLouis Wu 1/31/11 1:54 p.m.
                                               Re: Summa CanonicaStephen L. (SoundEffect) 1/31/11 2:29 p.m.
                                                     Re: Summa CanonicaCody Miller 1/31/11 2:32 p.m.
                                                           Re: Summa CanonicaThe Loot 1/31/11 2:44 p.m.
                                                                 Re: Summa CanonicaSonofMacPhisto 1/31/11 3:10 p.m.
                                                                 Re: Summa CanonicaCody Miller 1/31/11 3:14 p.m.
                                                              *NM*The Loot 1/31/11 3:43 p.m.
                                                                             It isn't?Quirel 1/31/11 5:14 p.m.
                                                                                   Re: It isn't?General Battuta 1/31/11 6:54 p.m.
                                                                                         Re: It isn't?Quirel 1/31/11 7:32 p.m.
                                                                 Re: Summa CanonicaStephen L. (SoundEffect) 1/31/11 5:49 p.m.
                                   Re: Summa CanonicaGeneral Vagueness 1/31/11 2:54 p.m.
                                         Re: Summa CanonicaHyokin 1/31/11 4:44 p.m.
                                               Re: Summa CanonicaGeneral Vagueness 1/31/11 5:24 p.m.
                                                     Re: Summa CanonicaHyokin 1/31/11 5:35 p.m.
                                                           Re: Summa CanonicaGeneral Vagueness 1/31/11 5:38 p.m.
                                                                 Re: Summa CanonicaHyokin 1/31/11 5:43 p.m.
                                                           Re: Summa CanonicaBernard Strauss 1/31/11 6:20 p.m.
                                                                 Re: Summa CanonicaHyokin 1/31/11 6:31 p.m.
                                         Re: Summa CanonicaFrankie 1/31/11 5:14 p.m.
                                               Re: Summa CanonicaQuirel 1/31/11 5:29 p.m.
                                                     Re: Summa CanonicaGeneral Vagueness 1/31/11 5:37 p.m.
                                                           Re: Summa CanonicaFrankie 1/31/11 5:45 p.m.
                                                                 Re: Summa CanonicaJoe Duplessie (SNIPE 316) 2/1/11 5:16 a.m.
                                                     Re: Summa CanonicaThe Loot 1/31/11 6:13 p.m.
                                                           Re: Summa CanonicaQuirel 1/31/11 6:42 p.m.
                                                                 Re: Summa CanonicaGeneral Battuta 1/31/11 6:56 p.m.
                                                     Re: Summa CanonicaFrankie 1/31/11 7:03 p.m.
                                                           Team Edward or Team Jacob...?Devil Mingy 1/31/11 8:13 p.m.
                                                                 Team Edward!Hyokin 1/31/11 8:30 p.m.
                                                           Re: Summa CanonicaThe Loot 2/1/11 12:14 a.m.
     Re: Summa CanonicaBernard Strauss 1/31/11 12:37 p.m.
           Re: Summa CanonicaFrankie 1/31/11 12:49 p.m.
                 Re: Summa CanonicaBernard Strauss 1/31/11 1:31 p.m.
                       Re: Summa CanonicaFrankie 1/31/11 1:38 p.m.
                             Re: Summa CanonicaFrankie 1/31/11 1:39 p.m.
                                   HBO: We're old school, yo. *NM*Hyokin 1/31/11 1:48 p.m.
                                         Re: HBO: Word *NM*Schedonnardus 1/31/11 3:08 p.m.
                                               Re: HBO: WordHyokin 1/31/11 3:44 p.m.
                       Re: Summa CanonicaBeckx 1/31/11 1:38 p.m.
                       Re: Summa Canonicaelessar787 1/31/11 1:48 p.m.
           Re: Summa CanonicaBernard Strauss 1/31/11 3:36 p.m.
           dude...Hawaiian Pig 1/31/11 3:53 p.m.
                 Re: dude...Bernard Strauss 1/31/11 4:24 p.m.
                       Re: dude...Hawaiian Pig 1/31/11 5:30 p.m.
     My poor brain....Sl'askia 2/1/11 12:01 p.m.
     Looks like I've got some explaining to do...paulmarv 2/1/11 2:54 p.m.
           tl;drbluerunner 2/1/11 3:08 p.m.
                 Re: tl;drpaulmarv 2/1/11 3:17 p.m.
           Sorry...Sl'askia 2/1/11 6:33 p.m.
                 Re: Sorry...paulmarv 2/1/11 8:22 p.m.
                       Re: Sorry...Sl'askia 2/1/11 11:35 p.m.
                             Re: Sorry...Leviathan 2/2/11 12:57 a.m.
                                   Re: Sorry...Sl'askia 2/2/11 9:56 a.m.
                                         Naw, it was pretty spot on, I'd say. :P *NM*Leviathan 2/2/11 10:57 a.m.
                             Re: Sorry...paulmarv 2/2/11 8:56 a.m.
                                   Re: Sorry...Sl'askia 2/2/11 10:35 a.m.
                                         Re: Sorry...paulmarv 2/2/11 12:16 p.m.
           Re: Looks like I've got some explaining to do...General Vagueness 2/1/11 8:10 p.m.
                 Re: Looks like I've got some explaining to do...paulmarv 2/1/11 8:29 p.m.
                       Re: Looks like I've got some explaining to do...General Vagueness 2/1/11 8:42 p.m.
                             Re: Looks like I've got some explaining to do...paulmarv 2/1/11 9:07 p.m.
                                   Re: Looks like I've got some explaining to do...General Vagueness 2/1/11 9:20 p.m.
                                         Re: Looks like I've got some explaining to do...paulmarv 2/2/11 8:57 a.m.

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