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ironic...
Posted By: MrHenDate: 12/12/06 5:52 a.m.

In Response To: Conceit (RyokoTK)

Did anyone else think it was ironic that the topic immediately before this was "I can win at KOTH too".

:)

: It seems popular opinion is (in other regions of the Marathon community) that
: I'm a bad person because I put a lot of value in my own opinions, and I'm
: not really afraid to show that. I wasn't aware that this is a bad thing.

There is nothing necessarily wrong with self-confidence or pride. A superiority complex is a little touchy because there is a danger that you begin to value other people based on how they compare to you. I see that as very bad thing, not because of how it affects you but how it may affect others around you.

There is a balance between placing a lot of value on my own opinion and de-valuing other's opinions. It is good to think you have something valuable to say, especially if it is valuable, but I do think there are problems with automatically thinking your opinion is worth more than any other opinion.

Given a repeated history of an idiot and their foolishness, I can understand. But I do everything I can to honestly listen to other opinions. I try to listen and honestly figure out what they are saying and then decide if I want to ignore them or not.

But I never treat them like crap and I rarely tell someone I think they are stupid. That never does anything but tick them off and cause stress.

: Example: Earlier today I was accosted for harboring a superiority complex,
: and among many reasons (which were purely idiotic; the guy is a bit of a
: dip) cited was that, when I critique maps, I put too much stock into what
: I think. Like, rather than sticking to what general opinion is, I posted
: my own opinions instead. This is bad, because... well, I'm stumped.

This is bad because the guy probably does not care what you think. He wants to know about the quality of the map. You may have some valuable input but in the end, you hold one opinion. If you honestly think that your opinions dictate what is and is not a good map, than you probably do have a superiority complex.

The different would be if you said, "Ugh, I hate maps like this. I think they are terrible. But some people seem to enjoy them, so whatever." Forrest expounded on this area rather well.

: I'm the first to admit that I tend to talk down to people who are acting like
: idiots. I can't help that, but that's not conceit, that's well-deserved
: disrespect.

Yes, it is disrespect. This is probably where a lot of the misconceptions come from. Regardless of whether the disrespect is well-deserved or not, talking down may not be the best course of action. It hurts feelings, gets people ticked off, but worse, it does not help the idiots recover from their foolishness. It makes them bitter, not better.

There was a time when I would post on a religious board and debate things like God and morality and you would not believe the fools that would pop out of the woodwork spouting crappy arguments and pretending to be philosophers. I could have trashed them and their arguments inside and out without thinking. But that would not have helped the quality of the board. It would just make people angry at me and lower the value of what I say.

: I also tend to think that I'm a pretty darn good player and
: mapper, but I wasn't aware that saying such a thing was so bad. What's
: wrong with a little pride? I'm not rubbing it in, nor do I want to. I
: don't put people down because they're less than me, but I will admit that
: I am probably better than most people... if it comes up. Which it usually
: doesn't.

Vid Boi briefly touched on this. Some of it is cultural. Some of it is personal. Some of it is just an idiot who hates being told that he is an idiot.

There is nothing wrong with a little pride, but there is a fine line in there somewhere. No one likes to hear someone brag about themselves. At least, I have never met anyone who does. Some fun trash-talking is okay, but who likes to hear someone complimenting themselves?

Pride is fine, to a point, but bragging is worthless. I would question why you do it at all. Is it to make yourself feel superior? I would guess not. You already feel superior. Is it to put people in their place? There are better, less combative ways to do that.

: I seem to get this response a lot -- that I'm self-centered, conceited, etc.
: Maybe I'm missing something. Nobody makes anybody listen to me. I don't
: make anybody listen to me. But it's such a bad thing that I'm vocal. I'm
: such an awful guy.

Well, honestly, you do have an edge over most people: you asked about it. So major props to you. A lot of people will grumble and piss and moan and start hating others. Asking for feedback is a good sign. :)

There is a misconception that because people do not have to listen to someone they can ignore them or forget what they have said. If you rip into someone who created a map, they are not able to ignore it or forget it.

There is also a misconception that being vocal is bad. Being vocal is fine. I think it is bad to continually vocalize things in a negative manner. I do not think it is all your fault. Really, I do not. I generally have no problem with people who think they are all that. The only time I mind is when I think they are wrong about themselves. And even then, I just ignore them.

: I guess this is more of a rant than an open-ended topic, but maybe some
: feedback on why I'm the scourge of the internets would be appreciated.

All in all, I think the problem lies more with your blunt and harsh delivery than with how you view yourself. Pride is okay. Conceit... a bit more controversial. But if people feel uncomfortable around you, it is not a bad thing to wonder why.

I do not think you should have to bend over backwards to protect every soft fool with a confidence problem. My opinion is that they should just grow up. But maybe there is a little something that can be done to help them a little without really doing too much work. Forrest mentioned a lot of good practical advice.

I just rambled on about it. I have no personal experience with whatever people have been complaining about, so whatever. (At least, not that I remember.)

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Pre-2004 Posts

Replies:

ConceitRyokoTK 12/11/06 9:21 p.m.
     Re: ConceitForrest of B.org 12/11/06 10:13 p.m.
           tl;dr *NM*thermoplyae 12/11/06 11:06 p.m.
                 lol *NM*treellama 12/12/06 2:37 a.m.
           Re: ConceitRyokoTK 12/12/06 6:20 a.m.
                 Hmm...MrHen 12/12/06 8:34 a.m.
                       Re: Hmm...Forrest of B.org 12/12/06 3:17 p.m.
                 Re: ConceitForrest of B.org 12/12/06 3:34 p.m.
           Re: Conceitthermoplyae 12/12/06 10:38 a.m.
                 :) *NM*MrHen 12/12/06 12:02 p.m.
     Re: Conceitkyjel 12/12/06 12:21 a.m.
           Re: ConceitMcNutcase 12/12/06 1:56 a.m.
     Re: ConceitVid Boi 12/12/06 2:16 a.m.
           Re: ConceitRyokoTK 12/12/06 6:22 a.m.
           Re: ConceitNicholai 12/14/06 12:17 p.m.
     Re: Conceitgoran 12/12/06 2:21 a.m.
     Re: Conceittreellama 12/12/06 2:55 a.m.
           Re: ConceitRyokoTK 12/12/06 6:26 a.m.
                 Re: Conceitirons 12/12/06 6:34 a.m.
                       Re: ConceitMcNutcase 12/12/06 8:13 a.m.
                             Re: ConceitRyokoTK 12/12/06 8:59 a.m.
                                   Re: ConceitMcNutcase 12/12/06 10:00 a.m.
                       Hypocrisy...MrHen 12/12/06 8:40 a.m.
     Re: ConceitD-M.A. 12/12/06 5:15 a.m.
           You're my favorite brain fart *NM*Tycho 12/12/06 8:35 p.m.
                 You're my favorite too!!! *NM*D-M.A. 12/15/06 7:31 a.m.
     ironic...MrHen 12/12/06 5:52 a.m.
           Re: ironic...RyokoTK 12/12/06 6:43 a.m.
                 Fools and their feelings.MrHen 12/12/06 9:02 a.m.
           Re: ironic...ukimalefu 12/12/06 4:40 p.m.
     Re: ConceitSammy Jenkins 12/12/06 3:36 p.m.
           Re: ConceitRyokoTK 12/12/06 4:35 p.m.
                 Re: ConceitSammy Jenkins 12/12/06 4:43 p.m.
                       Re: ConceitRyokoTK 12/12/06 4:47 p.m.
                             Re: Conceittreellama 12/13/06 2:48 a.m.
                                   *shudder*MrHen 12/13/06 5:04 a.m.
                                         Re: *shudder*RyokoTK 12/13/06 5:39 a.m.
                                               *sigh* fair enough. your life, not mine. *NM*MrHen 12/13/06 5:48 a.m.
                                               Re: *shudder*goran 12/13/06 7:43 a.m.
                                                     Re: *shudder*RyokoTK 12/13/06 8:28 a.m.
                                                           Re: *shudder*LegacyTyphoon 12/14/06 8:36 a.m.
                                                           Re: *shudder*goran 12/14/06 9:41 a.m.
                                                                 Re: *shudder*RyokoTK 12/14/06 10:59 a.m.
           Re: Conceitirons 12/12/06 5:08 p.m.
     Re: ConceitTycho 12/12/06 8:34 p.m.
           Re: ConceitScreamingfool 12/13/06 11:12 a.m.
     Re: ConceitNicholai 12/13/06 9:20 p.m.
           Re: ConceitSammy Jenkins 12/13/06 10:41 p.m.
           Re: ConceitRyokoTK 12/14/06 4:29 a.m.
                 Re: ConceitNicholai 12/14/06 12:08 p.m.
                       Re: ConceitLegacyTyphoon 12/14/06 8:45 p.m.
                             Re: ConceitRyokoTK 12/14/06 9:12 p.m.
                                   Re: ConceitLegacyTyphoon 12/14/06 9:58 p.m.
                                         lol *NM*Nicholai 12/15/06 6:08 p.m.

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Pre-2004 Posts

 

 

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