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| Re: Wow, this is really kickin' up! | |
| Posted By: JonnyOThan | Date: 8/9/11 7:42 p.m. |
In Response To: Re: Wow, this is really kickin' up! (Leviathan) : What sentences are you referring to? Here's some that jumped out at me. Page 48, first panel. "Putting captain Maclean through to you" sounds weird to me, maybe the assonance of the last 3 words. Not terrible though. Same page, last panel. "And you were inserted in to assist me?" sounds awkward. Just removing "in" would make it work a lot better IMO. Awesome work!
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| Replies: |
| A Fistful of Arrows (pages 48-51) | Leviathan | 8/9/11 6:09 p.m. |
| Re: A Fistful of Arrows (pages 48-51) | DEEP NNN | 8/9/11 6:15 p.m. |
| Great work as usual! *NM* | Elzarthebam | 8/9/11 6:16 p.m. |
| Why isn't there more? *NM* | CortanaVII | 8/9/11 6:16 p.m. |
| After this, there's no places to stop! *NM* | Leviathan | 8/9/11 6:27 p.m. |
| Heh... | Louis Wu | 8/9/11 6:29 p.m. |
| Exactly! *NM* | CortanaVII | 8/9/11 6:30 p.m. |
| Re: Heh... | SonofMacPhisto | 8/9/11 8:32 p.m. |
| CanhazReconz PLZKTHXBAI!NM *NM* | Laird | 8/9/11 6:19 p.m. |
| ODST in Recon | SonGoharotto | 8/9/11 6:19 p.m. |
| Re: ODST in Recon | Leviathan | 8/9/11 6:24 p.m. |
| Re: ODST in Recon | Laird | 8/9/11 6:31 p.m. |
| Re: ODST in Recon | Overdoziz | 8/9/11 7:17 p.m. |
| Re: ODST in Recon | SonofMacPhisto | 8/9/11 8:37 p.m. |
| Re: ODST in Recon | Bry | 8/9/11 8:44 p.m. |
| Re: ODST in Recon | SonofMacPhisto | 8/9/11 8:48 p.m. |
| Re: ODST in Recon | Bry | 8/9/11 8:56 p.m. |
| The team... | Leviathan | 8/10/11 12:01 a.m. |
| Re: ODST in Recon | Laird | 8/9/11 11:01 p.m. |
| Re: ODST in Recon | SonGoharotto | 8/10/11 7:42 p.m. |
| Re: A Fistful of Arrows (pages 48-51) | Raaascal | 8/9/11 6:29 p.m. |
| Almost TOO good. | BlueNinja | 8/9/11 6:48 p.m. |
| Wow, this is really kickin' up! | padraig08 | 8/9/11 6:54 p.m. |
| Re: Wow, this is really kickin' up! | Leviathan | 8/9/11 7:20 p.m. |
| Re: Wow, this is really kickin' up! | Bry | 8/9/11 7:23 p.m. |
| Re: Wow, this is really kickin' up! | Leviathan | 8/9/11 7:27 p.m. |
| Re: Wow, this is really kickin' up! | padraig08 | 8/9/11 7:36 p.m. |
| Re: Wow, this is really kickin' up! | Bry | 8/9/11 7:44 p.m. |
| Re: Wow, this is really kickin' up! | Louis Wu | 8/9/11 7:46 p.m. |
| Re: Wow, this is really kickin' up! | Leviathan | 8/9/11 8:10 p.m. |
| Re: Wow, this is really kickin' up! | Bry | 8/9/11 8:15 p.m. |
| Ooops... | Leviathan | 8/9/11 8:23 p.m. |
| Heh | Louis Wu | 8/9/11 8:43 p.m. |
| Re: Wow, this is really kickin' up! | padraig08 | 8/9/11 8:49 p.m. |
| Re: Wow, this is really kickin' up! | CaneCutter | 8/9/11 8:07 p.m. |
| Re: Wow, this is really kickin' up! | Leviathan | 8/9/11 8:09 p.m. |
| LOL *NM* | CaneCutter | 8/9/11 8:17 p.m. |
| Re: Wow, this is really kickin' up! | JonnyOThan | 8/9/11 7:42 p.m. |
| Re: Wow, this is really kickin' up! | Leviathan | 8/9/11 8:11 p.m. |
| Re: Wow, this is really kickin' up! | bluerunner | 8/9/11 8:23 p.m. |
| Lol. *NM* | Leviathan | 8/9/11 8:27 p.m. |
| Re: A Fistful of Arrows (pages 48-51) | Bry | 8/9/11 7:17 p.m. |
| I just noticed... | RC Master | 8/9/11 7:21 p.m. |
| Re: I just noticed... | Flynn J Taggart | 8/9/11 7:23 p.m. |
| Re: I just noticed... | Leviathan | 8/9/11 7:26 p.m. |
| ODSTs!?! :D | NsU Soldier | 8/9/11 8:33 p.m. |
| Re: A Fistful of Arrows (pages 48-51) | Stephen L. (SoundEffect) | 8/9/11 8:51 p.m. |
| Re: A Fistful of Arrows (pages 48-51) | Leviathan | 8/10/11 12:07 a.m. |
| Re: A Fistful of Arrows (pages 48-51) | Stephen L. (SoundEffect) | 8/10/11 6:04 a.m. |
| Soo... | GrimBrother IV | 8/9/11 8:59 p.m. |
| Halsey's close-up is beautiful! *NM* | ZackDark | 8/9/11 9:16 p.m. |
| Request | Beckx | 8/9/11 9:41 p.m. |
| Demise of the UNSC Forlorn Bell | Leviathan | 8/10/11 12:16 a.m. |
| Re: Demise of the UNSC Forlorn Bell | Stephen L. (SoundEffect) | 8/10/11 6:21 a.m. |
| Re: Demise of the UNSC Forlorn Bell | Leviathan | 8/10/11 6:35 a.m. |
| Re: Demise of the UNSC Forlorn Bell *NM* | Leviathan | 8/10/11 6:37 a.m. |
| Re: Demise of the UNSC Forlorn Bell | Beckx | 8/10/11 10:03 a.m. |
| Re: A Fistful of Arrows (pages 48-51) | Dagoonite | 8/9/11 9:43 p.m. |
| Re: A Fistful of Arrows (pages 48-51) | HotIcePhoenix | 8/9/11 11:29 p.m. |
| Thanks for the comments everyone! | Leviathan | 8/10/11 12:23 a.m. |
| Re: A Fistful of Arrows (pages 48-51) | jarsp | 8/10/11 9:59 a.m. |
| Re: A Fistful of Arrows (pages 48-51) | Kermit | 8/10/11 10:30 a.m. |
| Re: A Fistful of Arrows (pages 48-51) | General Vagueness | 8/10/11 12:57 p.m. |
| Amazing, better & better each submission. *NM* | Jayshum | 8/11/11 7:49 a.m. |
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