: You want criticism?
: Takes guts to put stuff in public. Cheers on that.
: But there are... flaws. Lot of them.
: Paragraph breaks would improve the flow, for a start, make it easier to read.
: Second thing? The narrative voice jumps about. Again, a bit awkward, could be
: dealt with.
: And there are a number of other things, but that seems a start.
Paragraph breaks...will try to do something like that.
Narrative voice...the last one (Marathon Death) is STILL being worked on. Theres a lot of stuff that still needs to be done about it. Hey speaking of Marathon Death I wanna post this too. Tell me what you think of this:
Class's special unique stuff.
-Pfhor
The Pfhor are an enslaving race. >PLACE BETTER DESCRIPTION<
-Pfhor special abilities
Pfhor are able to use their weapons and technology. Pfhor have access to spider bots and spider tanks. Pfhor are smarter than humans.
-Pfhor types
Hunter
Fighter
Trooper
Enforcer
-Weapons
Shock staff
Havoc rifle (assualt rifle)
Scatter rifle (M1 alien weapon)
Napalm cannon (M2 M3 alien weapon)
Skeaarnen Rifle (Rubicon alien weapoon)
-Humans (TERRANS)
>PLACE DESCRIPTION<
-Human special abilities
Humans are able to use their weapons and technology. Humans have access to scout drones and assualt drones. Humans are stronger than Pfhor. Humans are more resistence.
-Human types
Regular people
Marines!
-Weapons
.44 Magnum Mega Class A1
MA–75B Battle Rifle (with integral 40mm Grenade Launcher)
Zeus–Class Fusion Pistol
SPNKR–XP SSM Launcher
WSTE–M5 Combat Shotgun
KKV-7 10mm SMG flechette
MERCURY .33
DS MICROWAVE
VERSION 3 PULSE RIFLE
NIMBLE 3 OMEGA
RY-ST RPG (AKA the Glove)
FUSION MACE (AKA the THWACK'M Stick)
-Infected
>PLACE DESCRIPTION<
-Infected special abilities
This class grows to certain stages. They start weak but grow to be stronger. At raptor stage infected can create custom weapons into themselves (example flamethrower on arms). Infected can spread their virus to other speices making them turn into an infected (this ability doesn't work on other people's characters unless they allow it).
-Infected types
*You may choose whatever to start with. Check the RED organic guide to choose*
-Weapons
*Depending on your stage differs your weapons.*
As people can see it still needs work.
Thanks for the info chiasaur11.
