In Response To: She kicked me out and kept the TV......... (Skavenger_s7)
: I told you that I got a 42" plasma right? And hooked up halo first? Well
: we had a little discussion about it..........
: So after my wife banned the game of Halo in our house for one month I was
: pretty upset. I needed to find a way to get my fix and I wanted it now. It
: seemed like I wandered the streets aimlessly for hours on end. But the
: truth was I hadn't even left my street and it was only about 20 minutes.
: My buddy Doug across the street had heard about my 42" plasma and had
: gone out and gotten a projection TV. he bought a really bitchin'pull down
: screen and set it all up in his den. See, he had this monster wall that
: was just begging for a screen to be the center of attention. So seeing me
: alone he dragged me into a monster guys night of halo and beer. (well I
: drank pepsi but I still sorta fit in)
: I learned something about halo that night that i never knew. Did you guys
: know that if you wear 3-D glasses it works!!!! No lie! They never told us
: that but it was awesome. Now ad to it a cranked up stereo in surround
: sound mode and I tell you it feels like you were right there in the game!
: I had to stop every so often and take the glasses off and walk away. It was
: making me motion sick from time to time. I first thought something was odd
: when the 3-D effect was making me sick and I raced to the sink to throw
: up. I recovered nicely but noticed something weird..... I had forgotten to
: put on my 3-D glasses. "Wow, this is really getting to me, I LOVE
: IT!"..... I threw up again and rinsed out my mouth to get ready to go
: back into it. I turned off the water...and there was
: silence...........like nothing. I could almost hear the light bulb buzzing
: in the bathroom I was in. Gone was the pounding bass of the game and the
: roar of doug and his crew. maybe they were just taking a break I thought.
: i slowly opened the creaking door and went down the hallway. i couldn't
: hear a voice anywhere.I peeked with one eye around the doorway into the
: room. it was empty. The game was still running but all the controllers
: were laying on the floor. "Hello?.... Hey guys this isn't
: funny!" I sat down with my knees together and my hands folded. I
: thought I would just wait a bit.
: While I was sitting I thought might get a little edge on things and play a
: few minutes and ramp up my score some. My controller didn't work. It was
: still plugged in too.....? None of the controllers worked....? "What
: the hell?" I sat back into a chair and just stared at the screen. I
: couldn't figure out where they went or why the game wouldn't let me play
: it. I looked up at the clock and then stared back at the screen. The game
: wasn't froze up because we were still on Sidewinder and the snow was still
: falling.......... "Wait a second....... I don't remember snow
: actually falling on sidewinder." My heart began to race and I backed
: away from the screen. the farther back away I got the more I could
: see......... the screen was divided into four parts.... but it formed ONE
: background. It was ONE scene...... somewhere in AotCR I suspected. I
: watched the snow fall silently on the screen and I slowly dropped behind
: the couch just far enough to allow me to see. There was one controller I
: hadn't touched yet. I reached over the cushions and as I turned it over I
: must have pressed a button....the screen fizzled for a second and the
: dividing lines were gone. I held my breath and swallowed slowly. A slow
: breeze from the screen blew in at me and brought a whisper of snow into
: the den floor. My eyes went as wide as saucers. I focused a bit more and
: could see footprints leading away..... away into the canyon. After half an
: hour I got up my courage to move in a bit. I got close to the screen and
: could feel the coldness surrounding me. I reached my hand out to touch the
: screen and visions of Stargate went through my head. "I can see it
: now.... headlines read big fat guy touches screen and disappears to other
: side of the galaxy" My hand went into the screen without anything
: happening. "OK, just like James Spader......close your eyes and step
: through..." Whap! right into the snow face first I went. I looked
: back and could see the den. It looked like a window from this side too,
: kinda like the other side. I turned with a little more confidence, as I
: knew the way home, and figured I would explore a little bit. The snow was
: deep. It made walking very slow. After 10 minutes I had only gotten about
: 200 feet. I kept looking back, determined to not lose site of my doorway
: home. I glanced back again, but this time I freaked out!! I could see
: Doug's wife in the den, she was looking around. I yelled at her.....yelled
: to get her to look at the screen. I started running back, I saw her turn
: the stereo off.."Oh no! She can't hear me anymore!" She walked
: over to the Xbox, and knelt down. "NOOOO!!!!" I screamed. She
: gave a half look to the screen...right at me...and turned it
: off............... All at once my view of the den went away, and I was
: alone. I was cold and the wind was blowing slowly as the snow fell. I had
: no choice but to follow the footsteps and see where they went.
: I walked for hours.........................
: I walked until I could hardly feel my feet and fingers anymore. I came around
: a bend and noticed a small camp ahead. Quietly I made my way behind some
: rocks and close enough to where I could see who was there. It was a
: covenant camp, more specifically a grunt camp. They were all asleep. I
: counted over 50 of them and that was just what I could see from where I
: was standing. My eyes glazed over at the site of the warm fire. So with my
: courage up to speed (or my desperation in control) I walked slowly to the
: flames. I knew the rules here, NO TOUCHY and they would keep snoring like
: my passed out drunk uncle Bob. I sat close to the fire and kept a sharp
: look out for any Covenant on patrols. Only a few minuets there and I was
: feeling better. I could see quite a ways around me. The canyon was really
: wide here. Over against one cliff was a make shift cell. "Huh, I
: didn't think the Covies took prisoners" I made my way back the way
: I'd came, and circled around toward the cells. Behind a rock was a huge
: pile of human weapons. All covered in blood. I grabbed a pistol and an SR.
: I paused for a moment and looked at the blood everywhere, then I wiped
: some of it in stripes across my face. I was beginning to get pumped up. I
: used the rifle and zoomed in on the cells. All the grunt guards were
: asleep and the cells were filled. They were hap-hazardly stacked together
: and I counted 7 cells from my position. I made my way from the cover of
: the rocks and went right at the cells. "Man, this freaking thing is a
: lot heavier to carry in real life...geeeez" I got to the first cell
: undetected. Most of the marines were dead. A few were alive but nobody was
: really aware of me being there. A serious tone ran through my body when I
: hit the second cell. Holding onto the bars with both hands, and his face
: pressed against the cold steel was Louis. I ran around and dropped in
: front of him. "Shit! Dude! How did you get here???" He looked up
: with total surprised eyes and said "Skav! man I can't believe it's
: you.... get me out" I started on the lock as he told me about his LAN
: party that just went bad. "We all were sucked in and started running
: for our lives. I was the farthest away from the Covenant AND hiding, yet
: they caught me first from my group. " I glanced down and then back
: up... "It couldn't be this bright yellow tie-dye shirt your sporting
: could it?" A scowl came over his face and he blurted out "Just
: get me out". The lock came undone and Louis said, "Did you bring
: me a gun?"......"Umm, no..I could only carry 2 weapons for some
: reason" I replied. He said, "you know there is a way to carry
: 3... you just have to look it up" "I know", I said....
: "But you know I suck at looking stuf up Louis." "Well give
: me the sniper rifle, you know you can't hit shit with one anyways.",
: he said. "Shut up Louis, go get your own. there's a bunch of stuff
: behind those rocks." I growled back as i pointed. I came upon Break
: Point next. He was wearing sandals and cut off levi shorts, a wife beater
: and a long straw hat with shades. "Skav!", he yelled.
: "Dude, quiet!You trying to wake them all up??" I took a small
: step back...."Man, I don't know how you got here, but I gotta ask...
: where you playing Halo dressed like that?"I asked. Break looked me
: over, "uh look who's talking indian boy, what's with the blood on
: your face? I know! (pointing at me) Rambo, right?" I was biting my
: lips in anger, ..... Break stopped my comments with ...."Hey what's
: with the SR Skav? You know you can't hit shit with that.."
: "Damnit Break shut up!" The last cell had only a handful of
: people in it, Click-clay and haloGod were among them. "Better leave
: some here to not make it really obvious" I said undre my breath,and
: off I went.
: I rejoined the group not too far away in some trees near a place where the
: canyon splits. They were discussing stratagy.
: Louis:OK, what we need to do is get to the POA.
: Red Loser: Why?
: Louis: Well, it is the only place where there is a ship that can get us out
: of here.
: Guy Who Doesn't post: OK, great idea, why don't we live in the
: "NOW". I mean it is crashed somewhere in the desert remember?
: And we are in the snow, therefore I can assume we either have a really
: long walk to get there, or we are really close by and we just need to wait
: for the seasons to change!!!!
: Red Loser: Why if it is close to do we have to wait? Who cares if it is
: covered in snow?
: Matt: Well, I think that some of the physics rules will apply here, and one
: of them tells me that the POA needs to be where I put it... in the
: sand.....So he's rright. Either we walk far ... or if we are close we
: wait.
: Louis: Speaking of that Matthew, why don't you pulls some "TRON
: USER" features out of your ass and shoot some light beams up and get
: us outta here.
: Matt: I don't think it works that way.
: Louis: Oh, so how does it work Matt? We fight our way out against the
: Covenant and the flood? What if Skav left the game on Ledgendary???? Then
: waht???? Do we have a chance?
: Skav: Hey, wait how do we know you are all in my game, maybe I'm in yours????
: I mean if we are all in someones game then lets hope it's Goatropes.... he
: always plays it on "easy".... he he he
: Goatrope: Shut up skav, I play it on hard settings you dick!
: ******************"Covenant dropship on approach!***************
: (everyone dropped to the ground)
: Louis: Holy shit that was Cortanas voice...and really loud too!
: Jamirus: Well I picked up a helmet with a headset from one of our dead
: buddies....*smacking himself in the head* I just can't turn off the
: speakers on this freaking helmet!!!! And it is stuck on my head too!! Help
: me get this off. (Red puts his foot square in jami's face and begins to
: pull.
: Skav: (looking around sees BOLL still standing looking closely at a tree.)
: "BOLL, this is hardly the time to be impressed with someones
: programming skills, unless you are finding a way to get us out of here....
: GET THE F**K down!"
: The dropship went passed us about 300 yards and then another one landed to
: the south of us. They both hovered for a second. Then landed. Out came
: elites... nothing but elites! It woke up the grunts at that makeshift camp
: and the canyon filled with this really loud music. We could hardly even
: hear ourselves talking.
: Matt: Oh, nice Marty! Could this be more annoying? Just what we need, a
: canyon loaded with the best of the Royal Phil Harmonic!
: Louis: What? Is Marty here too?????
: Matt: No, I am just saying..........
: Just then a crash shook the ground. It was some sort of plasma explosion,
: probably a Wraith nearby. The first grunts were bearing down on us... I
: decided that while these guys were gonna sit and discuss life I was gonna
: handle the situatuion.............. I leaped forward and started cracking
: off sniper rounds like it was my job. 20 shots later, and a canyon now
: filled with vapor trails pointing back and giving away our location....
: one grunt was dead.
: Louis: Nice shooting skav! ..............Dumbass!
: Skav: Hey one is dead!
: Goatrope: yea you gave him a heart attack with a near death experiance.....
: Skav: OK, that joke is getting old.
: Guy who doesn't post: "behind us!"
: We all glanced back and the elites from the dropship were getting nearer and
: their plasma rifle fire was now getting really close. When all at once a
: Puma..umm, warthog came sliding around the corner. It ran over 6 of the
: grunts and the chain gun was spilling hot shells like rain. The sniper in
: the front seat was pulling double head shots on elites faster than I could
: count. All at once courage overcame fear and Red, Guy, Jami, and Goat
: stood up and led a mad charge behind the hog firing like maniacs and
: screaming as loud as they could. I stood there in total disbelief and the
: hair on my arms stood straight out. I developed a big grin as I began to
: take it all in. I raised my pistol and went to work.
: The fight was going well for us, each Covie ship that dropped in, we had one
: of our own with fresh men to help. (fresh like "new" not fresh
: "horny") The hardest parts to fight against were some very well
: placed Shades mounted into the cliff walls in a way hard to take down.
: Vector came around from a rock pile I screamed at him to get those things
: off the walls!!! All at once a hog blew almost straight up!! WAY UP!! Then
: another and another...... Out of the 3, one hit a wall mounted Shade and
: sent it tumbling down. R.G. Was running backwards with a
: stopwatch.....counting...and laughing outloud. He ran up to me,
: "Dude, 35 seconds and I smoked one of those bastards!" I was
: dumbfounded...with my mouth wide open. "Man, you really are the best
: at that aren't you" I yelled to him. All at once I could hear Louis,
: "Retreat!!!!! Run for the door!!!" I looked around to see close
: to 30 Ghosts coming up the canyon, each had a gold elite driving and they
: were killing everything, even there own guys. I made a mad dash along the
: canyon wall trying to get to that long downhill enterance. I wasn't going
: to make it. As the Covenant got closer I laid down and pretended to be
: dead. They went right by me. I saw Odd flip a hog into position right as a
: ghost went by, he went up and flipped upside down, and Red plugged him 6
: times before the son of a bitch even touched down. "Nice work" I
: said to myself. I caught a glimps of jamirus running full speed to the
: door yelling at cortana and pulling on his stolen helmet (that was NOT
: coming off)..."Shut up! Shut up! I freaking heard you damnit!! This
: IS what I do best I run!!!" Guy, Louis and Matt got to the Hunters
: first. They dropped down and started to load them up with everything they
: had. Matt said, "We have to get past them and get that door open
: NOW!!!" The covenant were closing in. The defense line at ther flank
: was closing up fast and everyone was gonna be trapped. The Hunters started
: a slow march up the ramp of snow right at the guys. The elites were
: systematically executing soldiers as the pressed our group into a smaller
: and smaller circle. I was frozen, I could do nothing but watch and cry.
: They were all gonna be dead withing 60 seconds.............
: What the hell was I even doing here........................
: I felt a tap onmy shoulder... BANG!! I squeezed off a round and almost shot
: my foot off, I spun around, and there was Goatrope. "Man I am I glad
: to see you" he said. "Me too" I replied. We both looked on
: and counted the seconds. "I don't know what to do" I said with
: what felt like my last breath. " I turned to him again..."How
: did you get away from them?" Goat said,"I hid behind that
: Scorpion tank and when...." "WHAT???!!! WHAT TANK?
: WHERE??",I exclaimed. Goat pointed to some rocks close by and I could
: see the turret sticking out from behind them. I ran to it and jumped in.
: "Hello, and welcome to the..." "Shut the hell up Sheila and
: drive!!!!", I screamed out. I barreled around the corner and came up
: over a knoll. I was tight, I was ready, I was gonna kill something. The
: rumble from inside this tank was pure power. I wasn't gonna miss, I wasn't
: gonna stop. I cleared the trees and skidded to a long sideways halt. What
: I saw in front of me changed my life. 2 wraith tanks pointing at me, 3
: cliff mounted Shades, 20 to 30 grunts, 12 elites with swords, and the
: shadows moving on the ground led me to believe 3 or 4 banshees were about.
: The covenant were staring at me laughing. They guys (my fiends)were all
: tied up together looking at me crying. And Louis, sitting in the center of
: our captured party....... Looked up at me and gasped like his last great
: hope for his survival had been placed in the hands of the king of
: mediocrity. "Don't worry Louis, I may not do anything best but this
: time................THIS TIME it will be good enough." I ground those
: gears to metal shavings, I took that engine to places it had never seen
: before in the red zone, and let it all fly. I spun off a round out of the
: main cannon that cleared the field and covered my guys with snow. The
: covenant charged at me. I strafed the ground troops with machine gun fire
: setting half of them back into their own blood. The guys all started a
: mean roar of attack! At that moment 2 wraith cannon shots hit me and threw
: me like a dead soldier in Randy's video 500 feet accross the canyon. I had
: a pretty good view before I was knocked out from the impact with frozen
: rock. But, what I saw made me proud, all the captured guys from HBO stood
: up and with hands tied, darted into the rage. Louis and Matt driving
: Ghosts with there feet and Guy and Red bpdy checking full blown elites
: with swords to slow them down. But the thing I saw that amazed me most was
: Shiska! Coming out of his ropes like the hulk. He stopped a downward slice
: from a yellow elite that should have killed him and turned it into an
: oncoming Hunter. The hunter died and his fuel rod firing as he left this
: world took out the elite.
: ******************* everything went black*********************************
: I awoke hours later deep in the forrest near a campfire. A skinny hispanic
: guy was hoving over me. So close it scared the shit out of me. "Are
: you OK" he asked. "Cus you took a pretty good hit to the
: head." Man this guy was talking fast. "Were you there?", I
: asked as I struggled to an upright sitting position."Yes, I was
: there... I was shooting and fighting and I was like in this Ghost and I
: came out of the cave and I was all, GET OUT OF MY WAY, and then I jumped
: out and was throwing grenades and was killing people and then i never got
: hit once and I saved you" ......... "Dude! shut the F**K up,
: geeeez calm down" ... "Who are you?" He looked at me...
: stood up straight and proud, put out his hand to shake mine, "I am
: KORHAL" I fell back into the snow."Holy shit this day just keeps
: getting better and better"
: Skavenger; What happened to the others?
: KORHAL: Most of them died, the ones that lived they took to the Monitor.
: Skavenger:What for?
: KORHAL: They wanted them to tell where the index was.
: Skavenger: What? None of us have the index, what a bunch of dumbasses.
: I looked around at the few weapons and things KORHAL had gathered from the
: battle. I found jamirus' helmet.
: KORHAL: You gonna put that on like Master Chief and see what happened?
: Skavenger: No, (like I wanted to see a replay of jamirus running into
: everything with a helmet stuck covering his eyes yelling at
: Cortana......... he probably lived the longest because the covenant
: thought he was a mental case)
: KORHAL: Hey why is it you treat me so bad all the time? I did save your life.
: Skavenger: Well, its like this.. you said so much stuff that not even god
: could do.......... And then you hid behind the lie of "no way to
: record" all the bullshit you supposidly did......... well you get the
: idea.
: KORHAL: yes, but there was some stuff Louis even said I was first to bring
: up. It is in there, go and look
: Skavenger: No, I never really was any good at archived stuff
: KORHAL: And!!!! over the last few months I have contributed good sensible
: things.
: Skavenger: sorry never read any of those.
: KORHAL: Well people have accepted me and I have earned a spot there in HBO
: for months now.
: Skavenger: Well, I have been gone for a bit. maybe you are accepted and maybe
: your not.
: I started to get up and gather a few things to go and try to rescue the guys.
: Skavenger: And don't try to follow...come along... or help either. I can't
: take liars with me.
: KORHAL:WHAT? Lies? name one lie!
: I looked hard at him to show what a bad ass I really was, and clear as day I
: said... "YELLOW BANSHEE"
: KORHAL:NO! that wasn't me!
: Skavenger: The whole forum said it was you. you klnow you shouldn't prey on
: ususpecting newbies. It is really unbecoming a forum regular.
: KORHAL: NO,NO,NO...I swear it wasn't me!!!
: I turned quickly right at him.
: Skavenger: Man, I trusted you back then. I looked for hours and hours for
: that yellow banshee you prick! (I started to shed a tear) I was made a
: fool by you in front of everyone.
: Korhal was quiet. He walked up to me and put his hand on my shoulder from
: behind. "I'm sorry. It was just some joke. I am very sorry. Let me go
: with you and I'll do whatever you say.
: (changing my deminor)I snapped up my gear and said "Cool, let's go"
: He looked a little confused as to my sincerity but he decided not to
: question me right now, and follow me he did. As we started off he said,
: "Hey, before you got in the tank... how did you get away from the
: Covenant?"... I responded with a little arrogance in my voice,"I
: laid down and pretended I was dead." KORHAL said, "Oooooh nice
: one Skav! Wait, they should put that in the next game!"..... I said,
: "Yes, I think so too" Korhal kept quiet for about 2
: seconds...."Hey can I stripe my face like that too? I once had my
: face covered with......" I put my hands over my ears. Just then as we
: began to leave his camp, Goatrope stepped out from behind a tree.
: Skavenger: How long have you been there goat?
: Goatrope" Long enough to know you are more full of shit than any 2
: people I know!
: Skavenger:Ok, so what... he he he Anyways Korhal is coming with us. But we
: ain't buddies and we ain't friends. He is just along for the ride.
: Goatrope: Whatever, when I first saw you two he looked like he was bent over
: kssing you.
: I turned and pressed my gun to goats head.
: Goatrope: who, ok. it's cool. If you say nuthins up then nuthis up. I'm cool
: with that.
: I pulled it back.
: Skavenger: OK, we go to try to help our friends... nothing more.
: Korahal danced along with us, "Cool! this is like the fellowship of the
: ring.... only there are only 3 of us...YES! Just like at the end ...I
: wanna be Legolas? I wanna be Legolas. Can I be Legolas? We are the
: fellowship of Louis, no...ummm HBO. Yep, The fellowhip of HBO!
: Skav and Goat: "SHUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
: I just realy wanted to go home...............
ROFL! That was great, man, you should submit it in the fan fic section.
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