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| Something to ponder... | |
| Posted By: Otokam <ueno@its.caltech.edu> | Date: 3/16/01 5:12 p.m. |
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In a time not of our time, in a land closer to home than you’d think, there was a land inhabited by quilt-makers. Everyone in this island worked alone; they scrounged for spare materials, sewed bits of cloth together, and sold their finished goods to foreign traders in competition with one another. Because quilts took very long to complete, and because the overseas demand for quilts was booming, even those with the poorest taste, and worst sewing skills managed to sell their quilts. There was one particular quilt-maker, however, that excelled at his art. He pioneered various innovations in quilt-production, and made the highest quality quilts most other quilt-makers couldn’t even dream of making. At first his following was small, but as word of his legendary prowess in quilting spread, more and more people became interested in his next work. It was rumored to be the warmest, most beautiful, and most durable quilt the world has ever seen. Our trusty quilt-maker toiled day in and day out, and enjoyed working on his new quilt, but life was hard. Other quilt-makers, not to be outdone by our friend, stepped up their efforts, and suddenly, the entire quilt market was saturated with promises of groundbreaking quilts. He knew, of course, as did his loyalist of followers, that his quilt would be best, but he found the pressure of living up to the hype to be very difficult. You see, on this island, there were many monkeys that made a living spying on people from their treehouses, and writing poorly authored, sensationalist essays about the progress of the various quilt-makers. These monkeys took it upon themselves to follow our hero’s every move, and tell the world of his progress. Their intentions were good, but their efforts often just got into the quilt-maker’s way. One day, a group of foreign entrepreneurs with interests in joining the quilt business approached our friend the quilt-maker with a proposition. "Come work for us," they said. "We will build you a roof to hide your progress from these prying monkeys." The quilt-maker was not too sure… But then, the corporate suits set him up the bomb: "Sign with us now, and we will give you a harem full of beautiful women and an army of Eunuchs to tend to your every need." Now this was an offer our friend couldn’t refuse! But he still had a couple of concerns. "Will people still be able to talk to my soul? And can I keep my water-stuff item?" *** Much time passed, and the foreign businessmen kept their word. The quilt-maker’s new roof kept all prying simian eyes off of his new project, and he was able to work in peace once more. Unfortunately, because the entrepreneurs insisted that all new quilts be made to work with their new X-Bed, our hero had to take apart much of his old work and bring his quilt up to code. But this was not a very big deal; he simply saw this as a way to improve the quality of the overall quilt. One day, the foreigners approached the quilt-maker and said, "The monkeys are becoming restless. Let us appease them and give them a glimpse of the progress of your quilt." So our friend the quilt-maker polished up one section of the quilt, and invited all the monkeys to see how beautiful it was. They were even allowed to touch the quilt and feel the softness of the fabric and warmth of the stuffing. The monkeys were very excited to have seen the quilt, and could not wait to get home to tell the world what they had just experienced. But monkeys are not naturally good writers, and after the initial euphoria of having seen ‘The Quilt’ died down, they all came to the devastating conclusion that they had not really seen anything new. After hours and hours of writing countless drafts, all the monkeys could come up with was, "We saw the quilt. It was warm and soft." So, in order to feed their hunger for sensationalism, the monkeys began to make up their own news. "Only one person will be able to use the quilt at once," one monkey wrote. "You will not be able to see yourself in a mirror while under the quilt," claimed another, and lastly, "The quilt will only fit on an X-Bed," was a popular quote. Unfortunately, everyone believed the monkeys, and the quilt market was immersed in turmoil. Droves of people came out of the woodwork to say "I told you so," and "Other quilts are more beautiful." It would be quite some time before the quilt market calmed down again. The End POP QUIZ: What is the moral of this story? A) All you base are belong to us B) This Soffish do not eat C) Sex is an impossibility while playing Halo D) Grandma makes the warmest quilts E) I let the dogs out | |
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| Replies: |
| Something to ponder... | Otokam | 3/16/01 5:12 p.m. |
| Re: Something to ponder... | Pfhreak | 3/16/01 5:30 p.m. |
| Alternatives Not In First Edition | Pallor | 3/16/01 5:38 p.m. |
| All right, I'll admit it... | Otokam | 3/16/01 5:42 p.m. |
| Re: All right, I'll admit it... | Cunbelin the Trained Monkey | 3/16/01 6:17 p.m. |
| Re: All right, I'll admit it... | Otokam | 3/16/01 9:35 p.m. |
| Very goods guys, keep the work up.... *NM* | Mr Tree | 3/17/01 3:32 a.m. |
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