: I reckon this is an excellent time to sneak in a link to my webcomic ! 0:-)
And this would be an excellent time to sneak this email I sent to a sexist woman who kept sending me emails filled with really hateful man bashing jokes, sayings and mottos. Here, for your viewing horror, the Battle Cat strikes back at a real life man-hater. (K'chi is exempt from my awful tirade, I recognized her sarcasm when I heard it)
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Women suck ass because:
• You have nothing better to do than to think up all sorts of "hate the man" jokes.
• You spend all morning in the bathroom and you still come out ugly.
• Women drown themselves in perfume to mask the fact they smell like an old cotex.
• You think you are all better than men because some hostile lesbians have been spreading that lie.
• Women can't do math, when a rare one can, you all point to her and say, "See!!".
• You wear stupid shit all day to attract men then blame the men for making you wear it.
• You try your damnedest to look attractive at work but if a man compliments you on your looks, you shriek "SEXUAL HARRASMENT!", taking those just laws totally out of context.
• Women tell "shitty men" jokes all day but if a man opens a door for a woman HE is a sexist pig.
• You jam feminization down a man's throat and then complain when he is not manly.
• A man's basic genetic procreation programming tells him that a young female is attractive, but you whine and bitch and demonize him for something he has no control over.
• You paint your faces like clowns and turn around and say it is men making you do that.
• You put makeup on while driving in moving traffic risking everybody's lives, but if a man does not somehow sense your whims then HE is insensitive and inconsiderate.
• You ask a man a question and then have a cow when he answers it honestly.
• You go through the roof when a toilet seat is left up, NEVER thinking to lift the seat yourselves after YOU use it.
• After sitting through 8 hours of man-bashing talk shows every day you have the fucking nerve and the gall to call WE MEN chauvinist pigs.
• You blame all your failings on Men when that very act makes you the worst kind of sexist.
• A woman gives a man a list of 1000 rules but a mans only rule for the woman is to be his friend.
• If a man has sex with an underage girl he is an "evil predator", if a woman has sex with an underage boy she is a "caring mentor".
• You force men to spend all day taking you shopping yet you won't spend a minute watching the big game with them.
• Parrot-like you sneer, "What's good for the goose is good for the gander" without realizing that the reverse of that must therefore be "true".
• You jump in a man's shit for looking at another woman but think it is fine to drool over some studly Hollywood hunk.
• After wolfing down a quart of Hagen Daas, a bag of powdered donuts, a couple Snicker Doodles and a can of Pringles you not only wash it down with a diet coke you bitch that you never get taken anywhere.
• You reveal your breasts with a low cleavage then complain when a man looks at them. "My EYES are up HERE!", you say frostily. "I know where your eyes are, you bleeding rectal fungus, but you exposed your TITS down THERE!"
• Women demand to be hired for construction jobs in the name of fairness and equal opportunity but the only construction jobs they can perform are the jobs traditionaly given to the sick or injured men, such as a roadside flagman. The height of selfishness is bolstering your ego by crapping on the sick and injured.
• If I need hospitalization I will demand a male doctor because I know he got into college because he was the best qualified to attend and NOT just an unqualified female quota in an affirmative action program.
• Men are damned if we do and damned if we don't, if men complain about sexist women that makes us even more sexist which sucks as much ass as women themselves.
YOU are all a bunch of fucking assholes, WE are all a bunch of fucking assholes. Now get over it and quit sending those hateful man-bashing emails.
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And by God, this shut her the hell up!
Gary Simmons
the Battle Cat
