In Response To: I don't exactly know what happened............. (skavenger_s7)
: Yes, I know.... The wrong time of year to be camping in Yosemite but hey
: there is like nobody else around right?
: So me and my buddy Steve(DNA), along with Vector (my brother Gerald)and some
: other friends took a few days off from work, and Halo, and went up to Gods
: country. We settled in just out of site of the lodge on a snow packed
: night. The stars were as bright as ever and we were just enjoying the
: quiet and solitude. Our first night was pretty much nothing but relaxing
: by the fire. I was gently nursing a small tin of jack and we were all
: talking about the last round of CTF we played before we left. We won 5 to
: 4. It was 4 VS 8. Ok we were outnumbered and they did suck, but as the
: night got longer and the jack grew thinner.... I tell ya.... We were
: freaking heros!!!!
: The fire was just starting to die down and i was elected to get more wood. We
: had skavenged all the loose stuff nearby and so grabbing a small axe and
: my pistol and slipping it behind and under my jacket off I went. My
: flashlight was dim but i knew my way around here. Been coming here for
: years. I was having very little luck finding anything not buried in snow.
: I decided to find something old and cut it down, or at least a few almost
: dead branches would be good. I paused to look for something laying
: down...... OK, something leaning would be nice....Ummm alright an old
: ANYTHING. I rubbed my eyes and looked closer. All the trees looked the
: new... and the same!! Like they were cloned. What the hell? I walked up
: and touched one, it was smooth to the touch. But as close as I could get
: my nose, it looked like it had texture. While not taking my eyes from the
: tree, I opened my tin of jack and poured it out. I drew back my axe and
: gave a heart tightening swing at the tree. Nothing! Not a dent! I stepped
: back and cracked off a round from my pistol at it and raced up to inspect.
: Nothing again, not a scratch. Puzzled, I turned back in the direction I
: thought I had come from when the earth started to shake and the moonlit
: cliff walls were tossing rubble into the canyon. I could hardly hold me
: footing. As I looked up a roar came over the canyon walls and I saw a jet
: on fire come streaming down into the opposite end of the valley. I could
: feel the heat on my face as it went overhead, and I raced to where the
: flames were glowing through the trees. I was just close enough to see the
: wreckage but couldn't make out the plane. I mean it must have broken up
: cuz it sure was small. Their were bodies all over the place. It didn't
: look like anyone survived. I was out of breath and sat to chew some snow
: and wait for others to arrive. Within minutes a group of rescuers cam on
: the scene. I stumbled out with my hands up and was shouting that i had
: seen everything. The men, seeing me,took cover, and assumed offensive
: positions. I don't mean they were flipping me the bird, or i could tell
: they were gay or anything, I mean they were pointing rifles at me. It must
: be like the national gaurd out here or something i thought. "On the
: ground maggot" one yelled. They ran around me and were still pointing
: weapons at me and also outside into the distance. "Form a
: perimeter" one said. "hey man, I was just gonna tell you what i
: saw". I didn't recognize their uniforms entirely, and thier weapons
: were almost familiar. A man ran up and saluted what I took to be the
: leader. "no sign of the chief sir" "keep looking, widen the
: search pattern until you find him or tracks leading away" one said. A
: big guy grabbed me and stood me upright. A man walked over and said,
: "I'm Stacker...how the hell did you get way out here?"
: "Ummm, well I came up the 5 and turned right" I said with a half
: hearted smile. "Listen you dumbshit, this is a war zone and you
: should be lucky we found you first" A war zone, what the hell was he
: talking about. I opened my mouth to speak and a solidier screamed
: out.."I have movement....all around...closing in fast"... Some
: device he held was blinking red and a high pitched beeping was beeping
: faster. Everyone scattered to cover and I wet myself on the spot. (maybe I
: should have left that part out..) he shut the device off and all became
: quiet. I crept under a few boulders out of sight and held my breath. I
: could make out deformed shadows in the distance. Just glimpses really
: coming and going between the trees.
: There was garbled low voices coming right at us. Nobody was moving....not
: even a whisper from what I was hoping were my new friends. All at once a
: creature not unlike anything i had ever seen came closer to the burning
: wreckage. The light from the smoldering wreck shown him as bright as could
: be. I closed my eyes and prayed to God. "Dear Lord......if I open my
: eyes and there is NOT a blue elite from that blasted video game standing
: right in front of me I swear..uh, I mean I promise..I will never mislead
: anyone again...in HBO. I will post a public apology for whatever I have
: done...please" I opened my eyes and he was looking right at me. He
: raised his gun......"Holy shit!" I yelled and the led started to
: fly. Out of the darkness came these soliders and right behind them was
: covenant! I scrambled out from under the rock and headed down the side of
: the hill. As I was running down I saw what I knew to be another group of
: marines heading up to help their buddies out. Something caught my eye, and
: I stopped for a moment and stared down at them. "huh, I never really
: noticed how obvious having a flashlight tied to the end of your rifle must
: look to the enemy" As they got to me One stopped. "I am
: capt..." ..."Keyes" I interupted... "I know... Hey
: your boys are getting their ass kicked up there so you go help them
: ...I'll go get more help.." Keyes said, "no way son...this is
: it..there are no more" "what??? Your kidding me" I cried. I
: reached for my gun, it was gone. Keyes handed me a pistol and said...
: "I don't keep it loaded son...you'll have to find ammo as you go
: along" "What the F***??? that wasn't funny the first time I
: heard you say it...it's less funny now!!! What kind of an ass...."
: Keyes looked back at me along with 5 marines... "OK, sorry...just
: slipped out..won't happen again" Keyes: "Lets go!" Up the
: hill we all ran. Back into the battle. I rounded a rock formation and took
: a plasma pistol shot right in the arm. "OUUUUCH!!! HOLY SHIT!!!
: OUUUUUWWWCH!" A medic came an slapped a white patch on my arm and it
: started to heal. "you'll be fine son, that was a little scratch,
: watch out for the blue ones..." "Shut up you dumbass, this
: freaking hurts.." Oh my god this hurts, I thought. I got up and came
: out from behind a tree just in time to see a yellow elite come sailing
: through the air and knock my punkass down.... I was out cold......
: When i awoke I was in the middle of a makeshift camp, It was still dark. I
: saw a marine standing post, and mumbled.."oh thank god, I am in the
: goodguys camp" My weary eyes started to get in focus, and there he
: was. I was wondering how long this dream would continue without the
: Masterchief showing up. He was walking around the camp with keyes. they
: were discussing what the Covenant were doing here. I couldn't wait to tell
: them what I knew...I knew everything...well some stuff. I raced over to
: them and was so awestruck by the chief I could hardly speak. I told them I
: knew what was up with battle plan and keyes said he would listen for 5
: minutes unless I actually started to make sense. "OK......(I gathered
: my composure).. There is this big ring, we might even be on it I can't
: tell its too dark right now, and when you turn it on it destrys
: food...well us..it destroys us..unless we are on it, i don't think it
: kills us if we are actually on the ring cuz it might kill the ring too,
: and what would be the point. Anyways, there are these dudes called the
: flood, and halo kills there food so they die. But since we are there food,
: that is bad for us..see?" Keyes and the chief briefly looked at each
: other, then back at me...."And there are as many as 10 of these halo
: rings and at the least as few as 4 out here in our galaxy .....we haven't
: really figured out that part yet. Wait what galaxy are we in? It could be
: more if this galaxy is bigger than mine. Shit! Am I babbling?" A
: simultanious "YES" came from them both. As I started to get my
: thoughts straight, a covenant drop ship came in hard and fast, followed by
: another and another....
: We were.....ok "they" were heavily outnumbered and dropships closed
: in to get us. It started to circle and I found myslef almost running
: looking up to see where the hell it was going to land. I must have ran in
: a circle 4 times trying to change directions as it did.. Finally as I got
: to the pick up point (man I was really missing the old NAV point about
: now) they were already leaving. "WAIT!!!" I screamed. The last
: drop ship took off. I was standing there in the dark with sounds that
: nightmares are made of closing in. I wet myself again. I turned slowly and
: raised the pistol in my shaking hands. "I am not going down like a
: punk!!" I told myslef. A flicker of headlights came over the
: embankment first, then a hog running at max speed. I dove to my right and
: as it barely missed me a steel hand jerked me over the steering wheel and
: into the passengers seat almost snapping my neck.
: "Masterchief?".....He glanced over, "you looked like you
: could use some help, what were you doing?". I gave him a look of
: disbelief..."What do you mean? I was giving cover so our boys could
: get on the pelicans safely" Same as you would do right?" He
: nodded and we raced on...........
: We drove til daylight then stopped for a few. he wanted to make contact with
: Keyes, and I needed to stretch. We had stopped on a beach. The water was
: clear, and except for some small little green sea bugs, I couldn't see a
: fish anywhere. All at once I realized where I was.....On the Silent
: Cartographer! Cool! "Hey!", I asked...."If this is an
: island how did we get here?" The chief looked at me and
: said"Secret tunnels"..."LOL"...i strolled up with my
: head down and said, "look here bub, I invented the secret tunnel
: routine, so drop it will ya?" He took a plasma grenade and tossed it
: right at the cliff wall....it went right through the wall...."A
: secret tunnel. Wait til the guys see this......." The cheif went off
: to get a better signal, and I wandered off around the bend. After walking
: for a few minutes I came around a cliff, and there it was. "THE"
: arch! I went to the side ...the light side.. and climbed up the face of
: the cliff to the right about 8 feet. I had a blackstone rock in my hand
: and drew like an indian picto-gram. It showed a hog being blown over the
: arch. Then I scratched in "R.G.". Just then the Chief showed up.
: "Hey, what the hell are you doing"..."nothing", I
: said. I climbed down. "SO, whats our next move?" He
: replied..."first you change your pants, those can't absorb
: anymore". I frowned as I walked over to the
: hog............................"Like you have never been
: scared", I muttered.
: I pulled out an extra uniform that was so big I looked like Beetle Bailey.
: The shirt could make me sail away in a strong wind, the pants could fit me
: in one leg, and the belt went around me twice! I was a real looker that's
: for sure. "So, how do i look?" I asked. The chief took a quick
: glance and said,"About as I expected" I hopped in and we drove
: off. As we came around the island we got to a big concrete structure. I
: started to tell the Chief how I once blew a hog over it with grenades, and
: filmed it, the called it hurricane halo. He was quiet.............. Like
: for a long time..... I looked at him,"What?" He stopped the hog.
: "Why would you do that?", he asked. "I don't klnow" I
: said. "It hadn't been done before I guess" "Are you an
: idiot????" the Chief asked. "Nobody has swam out into the ocean
: for a few days wanna try that one? Or jumped off a waterfall just to see
: what was at the bottom????" the cheif shouted. And right as he
: started to go again, he stopped.................."By the way... where
: did you get enough grenades to accomplish this?" Trying to push the
: memory of dead marines out of my head I said, "Your right I am an
: idiot, can we please go now?" We drove off......I reasoned some good
: ways to put how I was feling, and managed the courage to speak....Then I
: tried to explain that I was really good at this stuff, and it was just a
: matter of time till I got the hang of things and became a real asset. He
: looked over at me and just stared.........stared like he was holding back
: every bad word he could think of. "Don't worry", I
: said..."I'll prove myslef to you". We got to an extraction point
: at the top of the island, and a dropship took us away. They let us out at
: the end of a narrow canyon. I followed him down aways until we emerged
: behind a rock and we were high above a canyon looking down at a base. He
: handed me a sniper rifle and told me to wait here, and cover him if I
: could. The Chief dove over the cliff and slid down firing his pistol. I
: rose up, zoomed in and started cracking off rounds like it was my job. The
: base was swarming with red shaded guys and they were dropping like flies!
: As I reloaded I saw my chance to close in. I slid down the cliff wall and
: raced to the base. Firing as I went, the valley floor was covered in grey
: smoke from all my vapor trails and his pistol fire. I reached the top of
: the ramp and met him their with a big kool-aid smile. "We really
: kicked their ass didn't we?", I yelled. The Chief looked at me and
: said,"You fired 37 times and din't hit a damn
: thing!"..."What?? Are you out of your mind!?!? I was clearing
: the field for you while you were popping off those little caps one at a
: time....damn Chief.....I was rollin those boys" Just then another red
: guy appeared up the ramp in front of me, I grabbed the rifle and swung the
: butt end like Hank Aaron at his head.....He ducked, I missed...he smacked
: me in the head and I feel back into the bottom of the base...the Chief
: gave hmi a head shot and his body fell lifeless onto mine. I hit the
: ground with a THUD, and when the body fell on me I thought I broke 3 of my
: ribs when it landed. I could barely open my eyes and the Chief was looking
: over at me.."You OK?", he asked. "I hit my head pretty hard
: when I landed", I replied. The Chief raised up, put his gun on his
: shoulder and said, "Well that's the first thing you have hit all
: day"................."Go to hell Chief!!!' I groaned.As he
: walked away I heard him say.."You're proving yourself
: allright........" I didn't have the strength for a good comeback.
: I wanted to go home....................................................
Just as I was about to pos soemthing asking you when your next story would come out, you posted this. Good work Skav- not as funny as they others, but pretty damn good, and stacker was there, so I'm happy!
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