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| The March of the N00bs -Long | |
| Posted By: Wado SG <wyamauchi@msn.com> | Date: 10/31/03 11:47 p.m. |
In Response To: Re: I swear, you actually made my jaw drop. (KP) Note: You might think the names in this story reflect people you know but I swear I made the whole thing up. I really don't know what you are talking about. "In my wildest dreams I still would never imagine the events of the day. Somehow it all transpired. What you don't believe me?" "You have to admit KP, the whole thing is a bit unbelievable. Come on, death from above, an army of n00bs, down to the cutting you off at the knees. It's all just way to grand to be true." KP looked back at the tall, noble king. Then in a hop and bop the lower parts of his legs fell off. They were nothing but stilts. "Whaaaat? KP your legs, what happened to your legs?" stuttered the king. "I told you already, my gracious King Louis, but I'll tell you again..." replied KP. "It started small, like everything, it started small..." In a meadow called Timberland, Michael M. gasped in awe. "Wow you really are getting your ass kicked," he said in disbelief. "Are you new around here?" "Err... no maybe it's the lag. Say they call be Wado, the master blaster, the dander blammer. What's your name?" replied Wado while shooting needlers in the air. "Hey watch it, will ya. That almost hit me. Oh and my name is Michael M." cautiously said Michael M. "Oh just keeping you on your toes soldier, besides the needlers won't track you if you are a friend, that's how I know you are on my team," snidely remarked Wado. "But don't the red dots on the scanner show enemies and the white dots show friends?" said Michael M. "Oh yeah, really. Oh that would explain... and all this time I thought they were just TK'rs... oh nevermind. What are you in for, anyway?" asked Wado. "Well I was on this forum and I annoyed some people and then I mocked someone I didn't know anything about and now I'm stuck here," answered Michael M. while rubbing his head, "and that hammer they hit me with really hurts." "That's nice, oh what? GAME CLOSED DOWN. errrr," muttered Wado. "Hey come with me Michael M. I'll show you a place just over that hill." "Well as long as it doesn't take too long, my mom says I have to be in bed by ten." "No worries, we're already here. The wonders of the internet," said Wado. "So this place is called Bungie Hill and isn't it beautiful?" "No it looks a mess, fires, broken keyboards and dead mice," replied Michael M. "What the..." Wado couldn't believe his eyes, amongst the smoke and carnage was the signs of a battle, a massive battle. One moving figure lay near him. It looked like KP. Wado moved to him. "KP, what happened, oh my your legs, they have been cut off." Wado looked around and with the help of Michael M. found a pair of legs with no body attached. Wado reattached the legs to KP. "Thanks, I can walk again, wait these aren't my legs," remarked KP, "but no time for this, we were attacked by the forces of N00btopia. They came in fast and hard and crushed the forces of the 7th Column in a horrible route." "N00btopia, cool." said Michael M. "Shut up Michael M. You can't be serious KP, N00Bs defeat the elite 7th Column." questioned Wado. "I am dead serious Wado," KP replied in a cold chill. "They are somehow united, they move as one, a force to be reckoned with. We need to gather forces and take them out before they can reach the Kingdom of HBO." "HBO, that's who hit me over the head with that hammer," said Michael M. "Shut up!" cried KP and Wado in unison. "Surely N00btopia won't reach HBO. First they would have to march through either the Domain of Subnova and face the Minions of Pallor or route West through Bungie itself and the Marty Army." Wado said with a smirk. "And besides, reinforcements must be on the way." "Good point Wado," said KP but suddenly he felt the ground below him give way in a firery fury. "Here I am to save the day!" said a mysterious stranger. He blasted the legs off of KP. "Stop it Miguel!" cried KP. "Oh, is that you KP," stated the stranger who resembled Miguel Chavez. "Sorry with those strange things attached as legs I thought you were a Flood warrior." "Miguel Chavez, wow," interjected Wado. "When I said there would be reinforcements, I didn't think they would send the M.C." "Say where are the rest?" added KP. "Heh, the rest," Miquel looked confused. "You only need the M.C., right?" "And don't forget me too," said a sexy voice from the bushes. "Jillybean, is that you?" asked Wado. "Well yes, you don't expect the M.C. to go anywhere without me, do you?" said Jillybean. "Jilly, wouldn't that make you Cort..." said Wado. "Don't say it Wado, I hate that B'tch, she stole my lipstick," instructed Jillybean. The M.C. looked a bit annoyed saying, "That makes no sense, what would a hologram do with your lipstick?" Then he started to sing, "Jillybean, Is Not My Lover. She's Just A Girl Who Claims That I Am The One. But The Kid Is Not My Son
"Err... right," said KP. "It is good to have you here, both of you Jillybean and M.C. but there's nothing much to do. The forces of N00btopia are marching on HBO and it matters not, they will either be crushed by the Minions of Pallor or Marty's Army, and if by any luck they survive that, the Count and the forces of HBO is more than a match for any army of N00bs." "Maybe not..." said Michael M. "Oh what is it, Michael M.?" asked Wado. "Oh folks, this is Michael M." "We've met," said the others. "Hi guys and, wow, a girl that likes Halo," said Michael M. "Get to point, will ya," said Jillybean. "Well I saw a bunch of N00bs going into a tunnel over by the Halo level, that's the same tunnel that I took to get here from HBO," added Michael M. "No, that tunnel should be guarded by Finn and mnemesis as it goes through the Halo Story Page through a back door to HBO." said the M.C. "HSP rocks!" yelled Wado. "Oh no, I saw Finn and mnemesis heading to the post office earlier with several tons of email, they can't be back already," said Jillybean. The group started towards the tunnel to get a closer look. "Hey wait," said KP. "Oh sorry," replied Wado as he attached two sticks to KP to use as legs. "Sticks, where are my legs?" said KP as he stood up using the sticks for legs. "Would you like some cheese with your sticks," asked a strange creature from an earshot's distance. "What are you?" asked Michael M. looking at the creature that looked kind of like a llama only bent. "bentllama is the name, care for a fart?" said the creature. "Incoming!" said another voice from below. "Run for it." "Pancake," said bentllama who then flashed an official Bungie decoder badge. Everyone was confused. Wado looked down to see who was the second voice. "Hello," said the voice from below. "I'm Shishka and I'm the Lord of the Skies." "But," muttered Wado, "you're a caterpillar." "Don't worry, he's with me and we will need him," said bentllama. "He is skilled and is very good at drawing everyone's fire away from the rest of the team." "No, you're the one that draws everyone's fire," stated Shishka. "Camper," said bentllama. "Camper," replied Shishka. "Sorry to interupt but we have work to do," said Jillybean. "Yes, right, no problem," said Shiska. "I'll just call up mnemesis on his cell phone and give him the warning, then HBO will be safe." Ring went the phone to the tune of the Ride of the Valkyries. "Strange, mnemesis doesn't seem to be answering his phone." "There's no time for this, we have to activate the HSP's defenses," insisted the M.C. "Oh really," said Jillybean, "and if you don't stop making me sound like Cortana I'm going to kill you off in my next story, Wado." "Hey look," said Shishka while looking over the hill. The group dropped everything to take a look. "Ouch," said Michael M. "What is it?" said a few in unison. "I dropped my framed picture of Pallor on my foot, you said drop everything," replied Michael M. "I'll get you for that, Michael M." said a voice that sounded a lot like Ross Mills. "Did you hear something?" asked Jillybean. "Oh that's Ross, he's always lurking around," said the M.C. "He will come out with his spam cannon if needed but for now leave him be." The group peered over the hill and all hope bled from them. The tunnel was indeed being used by the forces of N00btopia. They marched in perfect unison, goose-stepping to the clicks of mice. Dazed, blank, sleep-deprived faces and armed with extended keyboards. "That tunnel is not a natural formation," said Jillybean. "Oh Wado you are so dead after this..." "No dah that tunnel made of concrete in the middle of an artifical game map is not a natural formation," replied everyone including Ross from the distance. "This doesn't look good," said Michael M. "No it doesn't," said the M.C., "something tells me I'm not going to like this." not to be continued??? Thanks all, I hope no one got offended, I really tried to make something people would enjoy and no I did not want to post it as Fan Fiction unless I get the permission to do so from folks since the likeness of their names appear in the story. Also, why did I write this, well, Jillybean's rocking Halloween story inspired me so I said, what the heck, I've got some time. Cheers -- Wado.
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