Wow, that was... insane.
Heh, seriously though...
More trigger-time would've been fun, more battle, that is. It seemed as if the story built up to this big battle and blowing up of the hill, and then the battle was over in five minutes... Maybe that's really what happened, but more descriptions of it! And the Pfhor seemes very... human... spying, using animals for their own purposes... There wasn't anything that I thought was really "alien" about the aliens. And the Pfhor making a half tick/half robot seems a little odd.
Some spelling mistakes, but maybe I'm the only one who's bothered by them.
Now where's that fanfic page?
