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Re: Fuck around with the meat?
Posted By: D-M.A.Date: 1/17/03 11:46 p.m.

In Response To: Re: Fuck around with the meat? (Vid Boi)

Uh, well, I lost the point, or was there one? Hilarious I might agree on, at least, uhm, different...

: Ah. I thought maybe it had something to do with this story I read on
: textfiles.com... I think it's hilarious but nobody seems to agree =/

: "Do you, like, ever let people into your meat-locker to, like, uh, you
: know,
: fuck around with the meat?" I asked.

: The short-haired Greek man looked at me strangely from behind the counter.
: Several of the waitresses glared in my direction.

: "What you mean 'fuck around'?" the dumpy Greek asked.

: "You know, like shovin' your dick in and out of the openings in the
: meat.
: Then, like, getting a bunch of smelly, sticky cream of tubesteak all over the
: junk that you grind into foodburgers," I informed him.

: "Naw. We don't do that. You don't do that. Nobody do that," the
: imbecile
: claimed.

: "I do that," I began, "and as a matter of fact, most of my
: pals do that too.
: We like it."

: Overhearing our conversation, one of the waitresses gave me a sour look.
: She seemed to be acting like she was getting sick. The cook and the other two
: waitresses completely ignored everything except the random orders for patty
: melts and double cheeseburgers.

: "Look, I don't wanna do nothin' weird or strange or anything. I just
: wanna
: fuck a bunch of meat that you got in your huge ol' meat locker. Listen, don't
: any of you stupid fuckers understand what I'm sayin'?" I stated in an
: agitated
: manner.

: "Mister, people gotta eat my food. If you stick dick in food, no can
: eat.
: Frank lose money. No can do," the Greek said.

: "How much money would you lose, bright eyes?" I asked.

: "Big thing of cow cost Frank $220 for a half," Greek-man said.

: "Well, I wanna fuck around with about 13 of them. Let's see...that's
: about
: $2860...and I'll give you...oh, let's see...$40 just for letting me do it,
: OK?"

: "I dunno."

: "OK. Look, I'll give you $3000 cash, RIGHT NOW, cause I like you an
: awful
: lot, and also cause I'm fucking sick and tired or trying to talk to you
: goddamn Greek half-wits."

: The Greek seemed to ponder what I had said for a minute, or perhaps he was
: just wallowing in incomprehension. One waitress went into the back-room and
: loudly threw up.

: "OK. But you give Frank money NOW."

: I handed the three bills over to the fool and lifted up a section of the
: counter and walked into the walk-in freezer.

: "OK, you can fuck with 13 sides of cow, but leave cheese and other gunk
: alone. OK?"

: There was a wide variety of different kinds of food present in the walk-in
: freezer. Many, many eggs and other fine foods. I could see containers of
: pancake batter and butter. On the left was what I was after. Thirteen
: beautiful sides of beef!

: I started to get a hard-on just looking at the beef!

: "You got your cash. Get out of here!" I shouted at the geek.

: I casually waltzed up to the nearest beef-side and began to sweet-talk it.

: "Hi, new in town? Ever get into Satanism? Shit, you're cute."

: The cool beef did not reply.

: --Original story by Don Bolles

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Pre-2004 Posts

Replies:

Water in space, huh?D-M.A. 1/14/03 11:39 p.m.
     Re: Water in space, huh?Ghôlsbane 1/15/03 4:36 a.m.
           Re: Water in space, huh?Tru7h 1/15/03 4:44 a.m.
                 Re: Water in space, huh?Ghôlsbane 1/15/03 8:15 a.m.
     Re: Water in space, huh?Tru7h 1/15/03 4:43 a.m.
           Re: Water in space, huh?Steve Levinson 1/15/03 5:09 a.m.
           Re: Water in space, huh?D-M.A. 1/15/03 11:17 p.m.
                 Re: Water in space, huh?Steve Levinson 1/16/03 4:02 a.m.
                       Re: Water in space, huh?Tru7h 1/16/03 4:34 a.m.
                             Re: Water in space, huh?Ghôlsbane 1/16/03 5:07 a.m.
                                   Re: Water in space, huh?Tru7h 1/16/03 7:51 a.m.
                                         Re: Water in space, huh?Ghôlsbane 1/16/03 10:04 a.m.
                                               Re: Water in space, huh?Cybergeek 1/16/03 10:46 a.m.
                       Re: Water in space, huh?D-M.A. 1/16/03 8:42 a.m.
                             Re: Water in space, huh?Tru7h 1/16/03 9:13 a.m.
                                   bad dayTru7h 1/16/03 9:14 a.m.
                             check it---Yossarian 1/16/03 3:22 p.m.
                                   Re: check it---Tru7h 1/16/03 5:17 p.m.
                                   Re: check it---D-M.A. 1/16/03 10:28 p.m.
                                         Fuck around with the meat? *NM*Vid Boi 1/17/03 7:54 a.m.
                                               Re: Fuck around with the meat?D-M.A. 1/17/03 8:08 a.m.
                                                     Re: Fuck around with the meat?Vid Boi 1/17/03 2:43 p.m.
                                                           Re: Fuck around with the meat?D-M.A. 1/17/03 11:46 p.m.
     Re: Water in space, huh?Vid Boi 1/16/03 6:58 a.m.
           Re: Water in space, huh?Tru7h 1/16/03 7:53 a.m.
                 Re: Water in space, huh?Todd 1/16/03 3:19 p.m.
                       Re: Water in space, huh?Tru7h 1/16/03 5:18 p.m.
                             Re: Water in space, huh?Vid Boi 1/16/03 8:12 p.m.
                             Re: Water in space, huh?bob 1/17/03 4:34 a.m.
                                   Re: Water in space, huh?Tru7h 1/17/03 5:51 a.m.
                                         Re: Water in space, huh?bob 1/17/03 5:06 p.m.



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