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Ok, I recently wrote a little addition to the great FF database. As you will notice once you yourself will have done so, or eventually as you already have noticed, having done so yourself, after seeing your work on-line, you feel a trifle involved with things (ask Scifiteki ...) You like to hear what people think of it, how you can change it to the better, and so on. So sitting there reading around the archive during my spare time, I noticed something odd. I had left the finalized version of my story in a draft state. It still contained faults, or at the least incoherences (well, not the intended ones). So I checked a few other stories and found some things of the same kind. It struck me I might post them on the forum, so the authors might acknowledge them and eventually give their accord as to correct them, or give further explanations as to how intentionally they had been set there. So here goes:
Up to now, I have only done this with one Fan Fiction, namely, read it thoroughly through, and that one is Scifiteki's In Your Nature. Hopefully we can go through them one at a time, alphabetically, that way we will have one perfect fan fiction archive. Here follows the few incoherences I noticed in that huge and really great piece of litterature (honestly, it's fantastic, and definitely worth the read, even though its hugeness does seem intimidating):
Part One
- First paragraph: "He had become familiar with every shifting pattern, every nusance of temperature, every little detail about the waves of air that blew across the hot, dry plains. " Nusance= nuisance? Nuance?
- One tenth length: "Perhaps it was a supernovae, he’d seen them before, but it should have stayed longer than that. " I think Supernova is the singular, and Supernovae plurral.
- Three quarters through: "More worried, he strode up to the doorway, and looked down at it’s remains. " Shouldn't it be "its remains"?
Part two
- A quarter through: "He drew up his staff, admired it’s bloodstained metallic length for a moment, then swiftly looped it around the middle creature’s neck. " Same it's = its.
- A third through: "The man who had introduced himself as Steve said, as he walked over to the dead bodies of the aliens, and casually pulled his knives out of their dead bodies. " I'm not a real english speaker, actually I think it's ok in english, but in french, such a repetition ("dead bodies") sounds awkward...
- Three fifths through: " Predicably, there’s people running all over the place, shouting like the world was coming to an end. " Predicably = predictably? Of course, since this is a person speaking, it could just be an error the person himself (steve) made.
Part three
- Beginning: "Sliently, the knife-wielder pointed at a nearby fire escape that led up onto the flat roof of a squat building overlooking the courtyard, several stories above. " Sliently=> Silently.
- Halfway through: "He didn’t to seem to preoccupied with his friend’s incapacitation, but Greg didn’t blame him. " to preoccupied=>too preoccupied.
- Eight ninths: "He had swept through their ranks like a deverish, him and the knife-wielder, and not because they were defending themselves, but for the simple purpose of the kill. " (this one isn't an error of any kind, it's just me asking what is a deverish.. ;-)
- Near the end: "Alien apon aliens threw themselves against him, and he smashed through them. " apon=>upon.
Part four
- beginning: ". And all the others around me, all the thousands and thousands of the ten. " Uhm... Wha? (this is also probably intentional nonsense...)
Voilà. I don't think I noticed anything else, see, this was my bedtime story yesterday, it really made me fall into happy slumber. Not that it's so rejoicing, but it's original and brilliant. And it was violent;-) Maybe even a little too much, which, I suppose, must have been the point, but when your sleepy you miss some things in the combats... Do read it if you haven't yet, It's my favorite.
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