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One Thousand Thousand Slimy Things
Posted By: GodotDate: 1/3/21 4:52 a.m.


On the first Sunday of 2021... we explore "One Thousand Thousand Slimy Things". This features Greg Kirkpatrick's epic opening battle scene.

This is the true story of that epic battle.

 


Timeline 1

You teleport in (first noticing the floating skeleton in the sky), then rush up the stairs and straight to the door.

Door opens.

Pfhor troopers from hell descend from the sky to the sound of Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyries”. Yeah… Tfear’s boys like the classics.

You and the Pfhor tear every last Bob… limb from limb.

Seven hundred and sixty one armless and legless corpses.

You be like… "I did this and could have stopped it."

Tfear be like… “Very Impressive”.

 


Timeline 2

You teleport in (first noticing the floating skeleton in the sky), then cautiously climb the stairs.

Hands in the air (ok fists out) you call out… "Hey guys… it’s me… I’m back."

Bobs be like… "Hey dude you’re dead… we killed you (in the last timeline)… there ain’t no coming back! There ain’t no coming back!"

You take a few steps forward.

You be like... "No it really is ME. I’m back. I just saved a bunch of you guys from a POW camp… just like in that film we watched together… remember?"

Bobs be like… "Yeah right. Fool us once, shame on you; fool us twice, shame on us."

You take a few steps forward.

You be like... "Hey guys… open the door… let me in."

Bobs be like… "I got a bad feeling about this."

Door opens.

You take a few steps forward. "Thanks guys… great to be… WHAT THE PFHUCK"

Pfhor troopers from hell descend from the sky to the sound of Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyries”. Yeah… Tfear’s boys like the classics.

Bobs be like… "It’s a TRAP. Get him he’s a TRAITOR!!!"

You be like… "PFHUCK THIS… I’VE BEEN SET UP!!!"

 


Timeline 3

You teleport in (first noticing the floating skeleton in the sky), then rush up the stairs but instead of taking the straight path… your turn right (right path… get it?).

You hug the wall heading over to the door. But the door doesn’t open.

Pfhor troopers from hell descend from the sky to the sound of Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyries”. Yeah… Tfear’s boys like the classics.

You duke it out with a couple of Troopers… hey you need to show the Bobs whose side you are on… right?

Then jump into the water, grab the AR, head on over to grab the ammo and 2x cannister [sic] that elderly Jjarro [sic] guy sends you. You know… the one in the dessert [sic]… he’s like “Be One With the Waves”… and stuff.

Head back to the start, kill the last of the Pfhor, head for the door. It opens… you enter. Hail the Conquering Hero.

Bobs be like…. “Thank God its You.”

You be like… “Let's go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for this all to blow over."

Bobs be like…. “Game Over Man… Game Over.”

Greg be like... “No Hamish... that's NOT how Infinity ends.

_________________

Kudos if you can name all the movie references. ;)

Cheers
Hamish






















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Pre-2004 Posts


Replies:

One Thousand Thousand Slimy ThingsGodot 1/3/21 4:52 a.m.
     Ride of the ValkyriesDurandal_1707 1/3/21 6:49 a.m.
           Re: Ride of the ValkyriesGodot 1/3/21 7:38 a.m.
                 [sic] *NM*ukimalefu 1/4/21 12:35 a.m.
           Re: Ride of the ValkyriesVikingBoyBilly 1/4/21 9:16 a.m.

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