: And don't blame her for 'misunderstanding.' You can explain yourself, but
: just say you were wrong and own up to it.
I've never blamed her for it. I blame myself as it was all my fault and there's no way I can undo my mistake. I thought of making the mod as trying to explain myself and how disgusted with myself I am for making her feel the way she does about me.
It's affected my mental wellbeing to this day.
This is reflected with my ideas for some of the game worlds like the penultimate chapter, which is a volcanic wasteland, the final one which is a computer hardware themed void with shadowy versions of previous monsters, the final boss against the Core which is inspired by the Icon of Sin and the Masked Man (whose John Romero easter egg hidden inside the boss would be represented my myself curled up in despair) the final escape where the world collapses and even some of the other bosses, including a plant-like zombie named after my terror and guilt of how she sees me, that spawns grey PID oozes.
Yes, I have every intention of owning up to it. Any similarities to the real world in the mod are supposed to be subtle if/when implemented if I make this, so it would just appear to anyone as yet another Lovecraftian themed FPS. The general idea outside the mod is to apologise in person to her the way you describe, assuming I ever see her again. I am also scared of this going wrong as communication difficulties on my part are a main reason the debacle even happened and I'm terrified that may end up making things worse by my not knowing how to word myself right.
