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	Message: : I've had some lately, born out of frustration with its haphazard plot (not : quite Errand Boy Syndrome-levels of insubstantial, but still disjointed). : Most of this will be directly copy-pasted from me blog because I'm too : lazy to rephrase things. : Currently stuck at Code 42, so some plot details alluded to below may have : been explained--not counting on it, though. : - : * Firstly, I'd cut down the number of mission controls you work under to just : two: Dire and Felix. The Devlins are dangerous, unpredictable creatures : and having them constantly pick your guys off in the beginning does : emphasize this, but it also makes things confusing for the player. : So, you follow Dire alone for the first half. He's competent, but also : strangely unconcerned with the carnage taking place around him, and : callous with the SO. Over time, he makes gradually more questionable : decisions, until the SO finally questions him--at which point he strands : the SO planet-side. : Dire doesn't get away with this act of betrayal and is forced to head down as : well; after confronting him directly, the SO learns the truth: Dire was : actually a simulacrum, controlled and planted by an unknown power to : sabotage the mission. And it's not long before the SO encounters this : unknown power... : * Felix, by contrast, doesn't have any sinister motives. She may have been : studying the Devlins before all hell broke loose and may be able to impart : more information, but is as much in the dark about the Mystics as the SO. : * In-between the stranding and partnering with Felix, the SO is completely : alone. No other UESC peons to explain what happened immediately after you : got dumped, or even an AI who only shows up for one terminal and is : probably never mentioned again; the most the player gets is a single : distress call by the SO that's not answered until after Dire's been put : down (so that the player will have an idea of what the game expects them : to do). : * No more decades-long time skips; maybe keep the SO in stasis for a few : weeks at most. While time skips that long can be used decently in other : stories, all they do in EVIL is disorient the player; they also don't seem : to have much effect on the plot. : * What are the Devlins, exactly? Some sort of creation/slave race of the : Mystics? A chapter screen and at least one level shows that they mill : around ruins, but those ruins may have belonged to the Mystics. Whatever : the canonical answer turns out to be, I'm thinking that the Devlins have : what appears to be their own culture and society of sorts that's more : advanced than a hive, but are still hyper-aggressive with few to no : indications of sentience. This bizarre disconnect is why Felix was : studying them in the first place. : Oh yeah, and the reason they're hanging out with the Mystics? The Mystics : struck a bargain with them. Felix is very interested in learning how they : managed such a feat. : * In general, I'd put more emphasis on the "studying two dangerous : factions while trying not to get splattered" angle, and less : "what random event can we fling at the SO next". : * The final screen, where the SO decides out of the blue to hunt down : Durandal, Leela, and Tycho? Either the SO is Enzo Lynwood [aka the Dark : One of my Inmortalitas 'verse] who's primarily interested in wrecking : Durandal's shit (with maybe a "screw you too" at Leela for not : condemning him), or that ending's just jettisoned entirely because what : do those three have to do with anything in EVIL . : - : Not copy-pasted: Perhaps the Devlins have a god that they would like the : Mystics' assistance in summoning, and that god is the W'rkncacnter. : Thoughts?
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