This is the worst game I ever played
Posted By: SpartanEliteDate: 4/1/21 3:41 a.m.

Thesis: Marathon is the worst game I played in my life and you should all feel ashamed.

Introduction: I was introduced to Marathon the way everyone was: as a footnote to Halo's history. Halo is the best game ever made, so surely the prequel must be even better! WRONG. I downloaded Aleph One Marathon and was soon dissapointed. 2D graphics! Cryptic level design! Boring gameplay, oh my!

Supporting Claims: I start out in a dark hallway. Why should everything be dark? I need to see everything. Then there's this shiny computer on the wall, and after I'm done looking at it (lots of boring text) something hits me! The first enemy in the game is hidden in this forked path, away from where you'd naturally focus your attention! BAD ENEMY PLACEMENT. I was expecting the computer (Leela? A futurama character, really? Okay, so this is actually an AI, and a much inferior version to cortana) to give me a tutorial on how to shoot, but instead the game just threw me to the wolves. This game has aged too much to pass modern design standards.

Now I'll talk about how bad the map is: it doesn't have any waypoints on it. It looked like the computer was marking some spots on the map to guide me, but when I press tab the red circles aren't there. I'm on my own because these lazy designers didn't know how to program the map guiding system.

I was expecting a cutscene to explain the story by now, but there's nothing. I'm really just playing the game. I don't even know what's going on, just that I'm on a ship with aliens. "In the heavens, they are waiting" doesn't count. That means nothing.

I must have spent like, half an hour figuring out how to get into the vents, and another half trying to make it to the other side of that partly open door. The pacing of this game is like molasses and it has no clues what you're supposed to do.

On the second level, they put another cheap enemy to ambush you in a corner where you don't see it, and there's an Assault Rifle! It's not the one from halo. And they messed it up. An assault rifle is like a close range submachine gun. It's not a grenade launcher! So great. I have just a pistol and a grenade launcher for weapons. You'd think in the future they'd ditch that stuff for super magnums and sticky grenades.

And there is another cheap ambush of those cloak wearing floaters. I died and had to start back at the last saving computer. Yeah. No checkpoints. No autosaves. You can't save wherever you want. You can only save at certain computers. You also can only heal at recharging stations, too. So they're ripping off half-life while they're at it.

The aliens bleed yellow. That's stupid. We all learned from halo that aliens have blue and purple blood, not yellow! And the cloak guys don't even bleed. That's worse! Yellow blood is better than no blood. What kind of fps is this where the robots don't bleed?

I don't want to talk about the next map, because it sucks. But the one after that? You start out going to a dead end where you're trapped in a crusher. You have to randomly find a secret door to get out. BULLSHIT! If you're going to pull that crap, you should at least hint to it. The first terminal here would have been the perfect place to blatantly spell out what you have to do, but it didn't mention it at all.

Did I even mention how hard this is with a pistol and grenades? I ran out of grenades fast. On 'the rose' we're introduced to tanky muscle-heads and annoying humans who get in the way that almost made me quit, until I accidentally made the assault rifle fire some bullets. So, what, it actually is an assault rifle? Turns out these guns have alt fire modes. Thanks for telling me, game! But combining an assault rifle with a grenade launcher? That's some Daikatana shit.

And what's with these level names? Couch fihing? DEFEND THIS? Those aren't level names! It's just a game designer that lost the remote in the couch and named the map after it because he couldn't think of anything else.

Eventually, I get to a map where I have to find a fusion pistol (another pistol? I don't need that. Gimme a shotgun already, come on!) and when I get it, something odd happens. I have the zeuss fusion gun, yeah, but can you guess what else I have? The pistol and assault rifle. Neither of them were dropped when I picked this up. I'm holding three weapons. What kind of game are they making where you can hold all your weapons and have to go to recharge stations to heal? Where's my autoshield? It's not like it makes you overpowered and imbalanced, because all these weapons stink.

The next map broke me. I was wandering around, minding my own business, and I just died for no reason. What? When that happened, I noticed that blue bar on the HUD was now depleted. So that's air? I have to beat this map on an unforgiving time limit? No fair! I quit.

Conclusion: Marathon is not halo. It's clear to me now that Microsoft's XBox made all the difference making halo the game that it was, and whoever bought a macintosh just to play this is an idiot. ALL HAIL MICROSOFT AND ITS GLORY TO GAMING. Apple will go under and die because they can't compete. What did they have when Microsoft blasted us away with the Xbox? Apple Pippin?

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Pre-2004 Posts


This is the worst game I ever playedSpartanElite 4/1/21 3:41 a.m.
     Re: This is the worst game I ever playedLion O Cyborg 4/1/21 7:08 a.m.
     Re: This is the worst game I ever playedhelviusrufus 4/1/21 5:53 p.m.

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Pre-2004 Posts



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