Ah, this is much better, I still don't agree with you on the part that people are actually trying to manipulate you. I think their intentions are usually actually to help you, but they do it in a clumpsy way, because they don't know any better, which might actually be manipulative even though they don't mean to be (this is my belief, and I'm not forcing it on anyone). But I understand where you're coming from now, and will leave you be ;)
: As you seek to understand me I'm gonna show you my experience of unsolicited
: advice. Some examples and stuff. Read on if you're still interrested.
: Unsolicited advice can either be: bad or good
: When I think through my life, I get loads of the "bad" solicited
: advice, and some of the "good" unsolicited advice.
: The rare "good" unsolicited advice comes from people who knows what
: goals I am pursuing, and in a way they KNOW I will appreciate it. When I
: am given good unsolicited advice I won't bother, it don't hurt me in
: anyway.
: The bad unsolicited advice comes mostly from people who's not happy with who
: I am, or don't understand who I am, or don't want me to be me, and wants
: to change me into something better (in their opinion). In other words,
: they want to intruse on my personal space (mind), tear apart my thought
: processes and replace them with something from their mind.
: This arrogant behaivor from them gives me bad feelings, I feel hurt by it,
: like they're raping my inner child.
: If you want, compare my brain to a girl and unsolicited advice to men who
: wants to force me to have sex with them. You know how that works. (If the
: unsolicited advice looks like brad pitt, I may be interrested, lol.)
: Some examples from goran's family when goran uses his principle of "no
: to unsolicited advice" and other shitty behaivors: Mom: when did you
: come home today? (irritated voice) (implying I've been home a long time
: and that I should clean the kitchen)
: me: (I feel my mood drops slightly by her tone of voice) Mom, I don't answer
: questions that are asked to make me feel guilty. Relly I'm not. use, your
: manipulating behaivor elsewhere.
: Mom: I'm sorry - I'm so tired. The kitchen looks terrible. I didn't mean to
: mean.
: me: That's ok mom. Come, I'll help you clean up the kitchen. It goes faster
: when you're two.
: Sis: You should do something else than sit infront of the computer. It's not
: good for you.
: me: I need your advice as much as I need a third nipple. :P
: sis: laughter - and I need your comments as much as I need a flat ass
: me: laughter - You say that - but what you really mean, is that you're in
: love with our neighbour.
: sis: laughter - stupid! ;) Shall we make dinner.
: me: sure. You cook, I eat.
: sis: I heard you say "you cook, I eat" sounds fine with me. I use
: the computer while you're making me dinner.
: (I love my sis)
: dad: You never do anything around the house. You should do more things, your
: apartment will look like world war 3 if you don't take care of this lazy
: side of yours.
: me: Dad go somewhere else with this manipulating behaivor of yours. I don't
: need the guilt and negative energy you're offering me.
: dad: nanannana (mocking me)
: me: it's ok to be an ass, but not with goran.
: (I leave the situation)
: me: btw dad, I did the dishes, prepared the food and cleaned the living room
: earlier today.
: (if it was my house, I'd kick my dad out, lol)
: me: I'm going to attend to a hypnosis course :D
: sis2: you've gotten this over your head, you'll waste your time. You're a
: dreamer, get into reality. You can't earn a living as a hypnotist.
: me: here's the thing: I think I have the right to form my own my own
: opinions. When I want your input, I'll ask for it.
: sis2: I can say whatever I want!
: me: (I start to leave the room) Come back when you take me seriously. I gonna
: call a friend now :D
: later...
: sis2: Sorry, I was rude to you. You really want this. What am I doing trying
: to scare you? Tell me about it, are you excited?
: *I have had many encounters that has turned out bad too. PPl have been pissed
: off, started to cry and a lot of other things. What do I do when these
: happen? I ignore them. They're simply in denial and refuse to notice what
: I am really saying - instead they defend their manipulating behaivor. I
: can't win against that, so I choose to leave them alone in their misery.
: I might say, "I respect your right to be ignorant, I wish you well, and
: good luck with everything"
: I hear stuff like fuck you, you're a mean arrogant bastard, you should be
: ashamed of yourself, how can you say that to a girl bla bla bla.
: Still when they try to offend me - I won't bite back. I just accept their
: response and leave them. WHY? I'm ok with ppl, they can be how they want,
: I'm not going to try to change them against their will. But that doesn't
: mean I gonna tolerate their shit and stay with them.
: Maybe I'm crazy for not liking to take crap from other people. Maybe I'm
: weird for being different. All I ever ask is to be accepted for who I am,
: be respected, and not be given negative energy. If im crazy to want that,
: then so be it, Im the craziest man on the planet.
: -goran
:
